Thursday, March 29, 2007
Last night, I was tossing and turning, and waking up every hour thinking I made the wrong job choice, and feeling terrible, and lost. What is going on? I was so excited about it, and when I called my mother yesterday, she was basically saying that it is good to have a job and get back into the work force until something comes up in my field of accounting. I think that was gnawing on me all night. How come it doesn't matter what people around me are saying as much as my mother? Waiting for her approval is really lost energy, because it doesn't happen much. She tries to be supportive, but picks the words wrong, and it just shines through what she really means. I talked to my sister today, and she was giving me her blunt opinion.... she thought it was the best move I have made in a long time, and she was real excited for me. So that made me feel great. I wonder how much I really depend on my family's approval. Unconsciously a great deal. Is it normal to have self doubt after a life altering decision that doesn't seem conventional? I suppose yes.
And then I tell my neighbors and friends, whose pets I always take care of, and to them, it seems the only logical thing I should be doing with my life, since I forever care for the dogs in the neighborhood.
A cup of tea seems to be in order.