Life is exhausting and this past month has been nothing less. A lot has happened so I am going to jump right in.
First of all, the health front. After years of frustration over weight that seemed to go up at the slightest provocation and refused to go down regardless of effort, accompanied by a myriad of other issues, too many to name here, basically I felt like something was very, very wrong. Despite being poked and prodded every which way, my doc could not seem to pinpoint the source of the problem. One day as we were discussing everything, she decided to chase a hunch and rerun a battery of blood tests that another doctor had run a while back (all of which had come up negative). That night I got the message, apparently my thyroid is all kinds of messed up and she wanted me on meds as soon as possible. So I have been officially diagnosed with Hypothyroidism and have been on meds since May 1st. It was both a good and bad feeling, because I hate to add yet another disease to the growing list, but at the same time it provided an answer for so many things! I have had no great or miraculous improvements thus far, but I know that this could take a while to level off (if it does at all) and I go in the middle of June for more blood work to find out if the meds are working or if I need a dose adjustment.
On top of figuring out my new disease, I have been having more trouble with my bladder. I think I have finally summed up the courage (if not the finances) to call the doctor to make an earlier appointment, because I know what this is going to mean: Surgery. Again. Sigh. My awesome urologist (no seriously, he is awesome) was really great about explaining the plain and simple facts about everything from the beginning and the reality that surgery may be required more than once. (On a side note, a gnat just flew up my nose. Hahahaha!) So I have been prepared for this, but hopeful that it wouldn't be necessary. Anyway, I guess all we can do is lean on God and keep moving. Who knows, maybe the outcome will really surprise me.
Secondly, on the work front. Things have been insane as usual. I was offered a job with a local hospital (that I REALLY want to work for), but I had to turn down the job in order to pursue the stabilization of my latest health issues. I explained everything and they were very nice and wanted me to reapply as soon as I was feeling better. So I am excited about that and plan to apply as soon as I can find some level ground. In my current job, I have been offered what is essentially my choice of positions in the store (obviously within reason :P ). This is really a wonderful thing, but causes so many problems for an over-thinking worrier like myself. I haven't made a decision yet, but I will...right after I decide about school.
Which brings me to the school front, by far one of the most whirlwindish and exciting fronts. Ok, so you may or may not know that I have been pursuing my associates degree for about 4 years now, going slow, paying my own way, trudging along. I had to take this past spring semester off because of a financial aid glitch and opted out of the summer semester so I could work as much as possible. Fall is going to bring my return to school, in a big way. I went and signed up for classes and decided to ask about the rumblings that I had heard about requirement changes for graduating. To make a long story short, I thought I had probably about 3-4 semesters before I would be able to finally graduate. Ha! Turns out with the changes I am more ahead, so I will be graduating next spring!! This brings with it the necessity of deciding what I want to do and if I want to go on to finish out a bachelor's degree and I have to decide before this fall! So I have to make a decision and begin the transfer process (they prefer to have about a year to get everything situated). Right now I have a few universities and majors in mind, but no solid plans yet. Just another thing that is teaching me to rely on God and the fact that He already has it all worked out, even as I run around in my little circles freaking out.
On the weight loss front, things have been, ummm...rough. With stress, feeling really awful, being without SP, etc. I have fallen off the wagon in a big way. Probably the biggest negative has been a return to out and out binging. Basically my weight has been steadily going up and I am just now beginning to get things back under control. It is sad how easy it is to turn to food when the going gets rough, but I am not giving up and I will get there. I have a lot coming up and it is coming up faster than I thought it would, which is motivating to say the least. So I am back in the game and moving forwards.
On the man front, heh, well, things are what they are. I have been given pretty clear direction from the Lord that for the time being I am not supposed to be dating. This has been difficult (because of my panicky nature), but also kind of freeing, because it has allowed me to focus my sparse energy on things that are at the moment more important, including my relationship with God, which will always be more important. It has also freed me to develop more genuine and solid friendships with different guys, even those that normally would have made me too shy to interact. I have even found myself talking to the thoroughly adorable red head that works in produce. :) So life goes on and during any sudden bouts of desire to find someone, I console myself with my favorite television shows and the multiple levels of masculine gorgeousness that adorn them.
I love my shows.
Thus ends the massive update. I left the weight/exercise/eating thing kind of short, because I will probably revisit that in my next blog and that is most of what I talk about on here anyway.
Thank you for bearing with me and being wonderful!
Have a great Thursday!!