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If Today Was Your Last Day

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

That is the title of one of my favorite songs, but also something I've been thinking about.

I had the pleasure of meeting one of my Spark friends yesterday, CJRomb. She and I are Facebook friends as well, and are in several of the same FB groups together, along with my husband. We've all gotten close (as close as people who've never met can get) so, yesterday, since she was passing through on her way back from Wisconsin,we made arrangements to meet her in a nearby town. After five years of "knowing" her, it was so nice to finally meet her in person.

Anyway, I tend to get nervous before social situations, and yesterday afternoon was no exception. But I realized that, meeting her was something I'd wanted to do for a very long time, something that I would regret missing.....something that would be on my bucket list if I had one.

When I last blogged, I was waiting to get the MRI done. It showed some kind of mass, either a stone or a polyp. The specialist sent me to Northwestern, downtown Chicago, to have something called an endoscopic ultrasound done. It turns out, there is no stone or polyp, but the tail of my pancreas is significantly diseased, and one of the drains was blocked. The good news is, the head looks perfect. The doctor gave me several options, but the only one that makes sense is to have part of my pancreas removed. He said he is fairly sure there is no cancer, but it's so bad he can't say for certain, and removal would eliminate that doubt. We met with the surgeon last week, and it seems, since the pancreas and spleen share a vascular system, I have to have my spleen removed as well. If we don't, apparently it will die from lack of blood. Surgery is scheduled for June 6th, and in the meantime, I get to eat solid food! I have to eat EXTRA lowfat, but I can't express how happy I am to be able to chew again! And so far so good on the pain scale. I haven't had to take a pain pill in a week! And now that I've upped my calories, I'm gaining strength. Yoga, light gardening, and easy walking are my pre-op goals. I'm also working on my breathing again, because, though I am doing fairly well, I can't help but have moments of panic. I'm losing organs at an alarming rate!!

So anyway, while I was waiting to meet up with CJ, I started thinking about that bucket list idea and I realized that I couldn't think of a single thing to put on there. I've got a fabulous relationship with a wonderful man, a kind, beautiful daugher, the love and support from countless friends and family, a fulfilling career, and a roof over my head on land I love. I have it all. If today was my last day, I can't think of anything that I'd regret not doing. Nothing momentus anyway.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LESLIES537
    So great that you got to meet CJ! Kudos to you for stepping out of your comfort zone. I am the same way with social interactions!

    Continued prayers and lots of love,
    2156 days ago
    I have been keeping up with you on FB. And I am glad you have options and you are being proactive about your health. It's still scary! But I am keeping my spirits up for you. And I love it when I meet a spark friend. It's like an old friend you have known for years, but you really don't know them....you know what I mean??
    2156 days ago
  • JLITT62
    I'm so glad you can eat solid food! You are allowed to panic a little- this is definitely scary - but I have faith you will come thru all this even stronger thsn before.
    2156 days ago
    You have such a positive attitude about this...that is amazing to me. My boyfriend is diabetic, and being someone who until 3 days ago lived on sugar, I can't even begin to imagine how he just shrugs it off the way he does. I think, after reading this blog, I'm beginning to understand it a bit better. Good luck on your surgery, and may you never think of a single thing to add to your bucket list!
    2157 days ago
    It is nice to know that you have it all there are so many that do not realise how well they have it.
    That said I hope that you recover and feel like a million dollars to enjoy all you have for many many more years to come.
    2157 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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