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Trying to take care of myself

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

I'm really unhappy right now. I'm at a time in my life where I realize the most of my friends don't really care about me past their own convenience.
I'm sick of it.
I've been doing things like taking myself out on dates by myself, going to restaurants, etc.

I've only just started to do this, and while I don't feel that different, it's probably because I've come to the realization that my friends will never be there for me.

I feel strangely alone right now.

All I want is someone that will do something special for my birthday. Not that they'd have to do something, but I want them to be willing to see me for five minutes on my birthday.

I want someone that would be willing to treat me once in awhile, not because they owe me, or because I don't have any money on me, but because they want to, because they're my friend.

I want someone that would appreciate me doing nice things for them.

I want someone that will set aside time in their schedule to see me.

I want someone here to hold me and tell me that not everyone is selfish and that out there, there are people that would genuinely care about me.

I sick and tired of dealing with this BS.

I'm being perfectly reasonable and I know it.

I want my life to start, somewhere else, not here.

I'm so, so, so, sick of dealing with BS.

This friday and saturday are going to be date nights for me. Both days will be a purposeful alone date nights. I think it might be better to be alone than to spend time with people that don't give a damn about me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I understand exactly where you are coming from. I have no friends where I currently live. I had one and she passed away last year. My other two true friends live in two different states very far from me.

    I take courage from you by taking yourself out on date nights. I am not comfortable going out alone but you give me some encouragement to do just that.

    I also hope that you will be able to express these same feelings to the friends that you refer to in this blog and maybe that will see the errors of their ways in regards to how they are treating you.

    Finally, I have to say I agree with Lilypad in that you have a great opportunity to find new friends and volunteering seems like a great place to do it. People with big hearts and it sounds as if you have one, are the kind of friends to meet there.

    Good luck honey, best wishes, stay strong and always be confident in who and what you are!
    2199 days ago
  • LILYPAD12311
    Sweetie,, I think that it is great that you take yourself out on date nights,,,,, but the simple fact is that "no woman is an island"...... if you don't have good friends now,,, how about making new friends? Volunteering at some place where your talents can be appreciated. I read your page and you are an intelligent woman... so use it to bring joy to others. You have feelings of loneliness because your friends are not there for you,,, so find some new ones... create the life that you want to live,,, you can do it! I believe it.

    Life is like sailing. You can use any wind to go in any direction. ~Robert Brault, emoticon
    2199 days ago
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