Temporarily Out Of Gas

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

I don't know if it's the soggy gloomy weather - my super-busy weekend, self-sabotage or what, but I haven't exercised in 4 days straight. In fact, I should be exercising instead of telling all of you that I'm not exercising, but right now I'm watching part 4 of "Weight Of The Nation" on HBO which is alternately breaking my heart and pissing me off.

My motivation seems to be missing. My food is good - what I don't understand about myself is why can't I have a good food day and a good exercise day ON THE SAME DAY? It seems like I can do one or the other, but don't often do both. I need to do both.

For today, I admit that I need to re-commit to myself. I am Done with self-hatred, so I'm not going to beat myself up for this, but I am going to gently remind myself of the following:

1) I love how I feel after I work out
2) I want arms like Michelle Obama, that's not going to happen if I don't work 'em.
3) My health is my number one priority - optimum health comes from eating well and exercising
4) I really only have to do 10 minutes a day, just 10 minutes! Shoot, I can stare at a wall and drool for 10 minutes, I can definitely walk on a treadmill or do some hammer curls for 10 minutes.
5) There's this 5K I'm signed up for...I'm going to end up walking for most of it instead of running for most of it unless I get back on the Couch-To-5K horse.
6) I'm not doing this because I hate myself for being fat. I do not hate myself for being fat. I am doing this because I love myself enough to fight through my default setting of fear-based laziness and do the right thing for myself so I can reap the benefits of being as healthy and as awesome as I possibly can be.

Tomorrow morning, no excuses, no snooze button, no whining - I'm lacing up and kickboxing. Every day is a new chance to get it right. Today I got it half right, and that's good! Tomorrow I can get it all right and that would be great.

P.S. This HBO documentary is fascinating - I really want to help make some kind of major social change - there's got to be a way to make sure that healthy food is available for all, not just the Whole Foods shoppers.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    hi there. i like your list!!

    just saw a bit of the program this afternoon, for the first time. i am intrigued and i applaud the seires. more, i am motivated by this, so much so, that after months and months, i finally got off my can and came back to!

    hang in there, and hoping you have a great saturday evening! cheers!

    ps i noticed your post due to may 15 -- your posting date-- as it's special: an F5 tornado blew our childhood home away on this date, 44 yrs ago. big anniversary for me.
    2221 days ago
    Rev your engine back up, babydoll. You deserve it! Kick butt! Small changes. Baby steps.. and you will get there. Dont let anything hold you back. You have a good plan.. let's DO THIS!! XOXOXO
    2224 days ago
    Same here. This was the week that I was supposed to be all fired up and creating a habit, and yet life has gotten in the way and I have yet to exercise. I am going tonight or burst!!! You'll get back in your groove. Keep pushing! emoticon
    2225 days ago
    I love your self talk and that you ar being nice to yourself - I need to take pointers from you =) You can do it girl!!!!
    2225 days ago
    There are days that I feel like my body weighs a tonne and all I want to do is sit. I put on my Jillain DVD anyway and I HATE it. The first 5 minutes I really hate it and my head says,"Just switch it off". But I make myself continue for at least 20 minutes and afterwards I have NEVER regretted forcing myself to do it. JUST DO IT!! NO excuses!! I love the talking to that you've given yourself. You are a good friend to yourself and you give yourself good listen to yourself too! emoticon emoticon
    2225 days ago
    Yes, it's hard to afford good healthy food, that's for sure.. We're very low income and I'm struggling with this. The produce we get at the Community Kitchen is mostly compost and inedible unless we eat it the same day.

    Yes, you can get up and do something for 10 minutes. Find that motivation inside yourself. It feels good to move. It improves your mood, your heart, your brain and your body! Do it for yourself because you deserve it! You deserve to be healthy and deserve to feel good!!
    2225 days ago
  • SYZYGY922
    I haven't seen Weight of the Nation yet. I always feel weird watching documentaries like that because I end up feeling like they are trying to make fat people look bad and that makes me angry. Anyway, I'm poor but I'm lucky that I live in a city that has lots of options. Also I have the knowledge and desire to make good choices. It's easier for me to get a burger than it is for me to get vegetables, but I make an effort. I don't judge people who make different choices because there are too many other factors, but I can see how the odds are stacked against people in lower income brackets.

    I LOVE #6 on your list. That's actually what's helped me get so far. I've never lost weight in a healthy way by hating myself. When you hate yourself, you don't take care of yourself. I can't honestly say that I love myself yet, but I'm doing it because I think I'm worth the effort and I'm valuable enough to be healthy.
    2225 days ago
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