Tuesday, May 15, 2012
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand —
when I awake, I am still with you.
-Psalm 139 :13-18 NIV
Yesterday we took our youngest son up to Denver Children's hospital for an urgent Cardiology appointment. He had some bloodwork come back very wonky that suggested muscle deterioration in his heart. I had spent the 4 days before this appointment very stressed out, very upset and worried for my little guy.
I had a beautiful opportunity with Elliott yesterday to watch his heart during the echo-cardiogram. I was struck again with how beautiful God's creation is. I watched his four chambers work away, watched the valves open and close and was completely blown away by the intricacy of how we are made. God spared no expense on any of us. Think of how many muscles are used every time we smile, every time we laugh, every time we walk; and don't get me started on our brains!
Yesterday I was reminded again just how beautiful we are in God's eyes. My little guy is perfect, God created him the way he is supposed to be and Praise be to God that nothing is wrong with Elliott's heart. He is perfect.
If I can say that about my son, why can I not revel in the creation that God made in me! I am made as beautifully as my son. My muscles work, I can smile. I am beautiful and I am strong.
Why do we think ourselves higher than God to judge what He created as wrong or right. I'm not saying we are wrong to want to lose weight, or be more fit. Just the opposite. I have a new perspective. God gave me this body. I only get one. I have a job in taking care of my body, what I'm saying is how arrogant are we to judge ourselves as beautiful or not.
I've always thought of myself as the ugly duckling. I've been heavy most of my life. I've never felt worthy of being loved. I always felt judged by others because I judged myself so harshly.
Yesterday I had a shift. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am strong, I am made in God's image and for the first time, that's enough for me.