MC Scat Cat Syndrome
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
As I am a child of the 80s I will always remember the duet between Paula Abdul and an animated cat. I keep thinking about it right now because I feel like I am in fact taking two steps forward and then two steps back. The hardest part is remembering that this is a long term journey and not a quick fix.
Yesterday I realized that had forgotten to take my insulin shot for 2 straight days (one of the joys of the coma and the surgeries is a horrible short term memory even if my long term and useless pop culture memories stay intact) because I had fallen out of my routine. Well, I decided to check my blood glucose levels (I had finished eating lunch about an hour ago when I tested). The reading was 154. To be honest I was ecstatic. I went back to a very low carb diet about a week and a half ago after having success with it before and falling out due to sheer laziness and convenience. To be at 154 with no insulin for 2 days and right when I should basically have been spiking is incredibly cool.
This morning I was getting dressed to go to work and the pants I tried to put on wouldn't fit if I wanted to be able to sit or breathe while in the office. These pants were so loose that I could take them off while buttoned about 2 years ago (after the worst of my surgeries, the one with the coma, I had lost about 70 lbs.). I had to go get the jeans that I had worn last week (and that thankfully my wife had washed since then) so that I could have pants to wear. And now I feel like a bloated whale carcass washed up on the beach.
I understand clinically that I am not going to undo 2 years of being mostly stupid in my lifestyle choices (let alone 30+ years of stupid choices) in a week and a half. I am not going to wake up tomorrow looking like Brad Pitt in Fight Club (more's the pity I suppose). But to feel so good on Monday only to feel so bad on Tuesday is tough.
I put this as my status update for today, but I feel the need to re-post it here in order to remind myself and to remind anyone reading this that all we can do is what we think we are supposed to do, for it is not our place to know the Master Plan:
As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.
Good luck to everyone. I hope you have a successful day.