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Getting back on track...

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Well this weekend was a struggle. I had a huge breakdown on Friday. I know it's because of the medicine change and I kept telling myself that during the breakdown but it didn't quite help. My husband didn't quite help matters either but that is another story, although don't get me wrong, most the time he is pretty awesome. I tried blogging Friday night but that wasn't helping at all, I think I was too far gone! Saturday I went and spent the day with my cousin/ best friend. She has an enzyme deficiency that makes her very ill sometimes, so I went and hung out, made her and kids supper and cleaned up her kitchen a little bit. She always makes me feel better, and it made me feel better doing something nice for someone else. Lately I have been feeling VERY under appreciated in my own household, and it's hard for me to rationalize what's real or not because of the medicine change. I weighed myself today and I have lost 5 pounds! That is exciting. I have also gone two days without the zoloft, which is progress. Tomorrow I will have to take one and hopefully be able to go two more days without it, and I hope to be completely off of it by next week. It's hard to write about my stress right now because EVERYTHING stresses me out or annoys me right now. I can't wait to feel back to normal. Went to church on Sunday with husband and kids, then went and ate with whole family at Bubba Jean's. Had a little anxiety at the begining of church and a lot of anxiety at bubba jean's, but it got better. Today I feel a little better, but I still feel very edgy. Tomorrow is a new day and I hope to feel even better.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you for your comments. Nan, I am sorry about your mom and your daughter. As for your daughter, speaking from experience, sometimes it's easier to take out our frustrations on the one's we love most, cause we know, or at least hope, you will always be there and love us unconditionally. Try not to take your daughter's reactions personally and understand it is her illness. I know it's hard sometimes! I appreciate your concern for me, but I am ok! I have some bad moments, but I also have a lot of love and support around me, sometimes it's just hard for me to see it. My mom, husband, dad when he can, and sometimes my nieces and nephews, have been walking everyday, we are up to 1.9 miles! We push my nearly 1 year old in the stroller and he lovessss being outside and experiencing all the new things! I hope your daughter finds relief soon. Kris- my Dr. told me to take 1 zoloft every other day until I felt ok, then move to 1 every two days until I felt ok with that. In the mean time she has started me on wellbutrin, which is an SNRI and less likely to cause weight gain, may help with RLS, and will hopefully work as well as the zoloft did when I began on it. (hasn't been working so well lately.) I consider my blog journaling, when I have something more private to write or just really want to let loose then I write in the private journal under the planner. Journaling helps, as well as the supportive comments!
    2201 days ago
    My daughter is going through the same thing as you. She struggles so with severe anxiety, which triggers bi-polar behavior. She has been on medication in the past, gaining quite a bit of weight as a result, but her moods improved. However, she says that some of the meication caused her to have no energy and others made her hyper. She has chosen a doctor who is reluctant to put her on medication. It is terribly frustrating to be around her, as the least little thing sets her on edge, and I seem to be her target for releasing her emotions.

    My Mother was manic-depressive, and I grew up believing that it was my fault she was so sad most of the time. It breaks my heart that my two little granddaughters are being exposed to the same behaviors. The medication available to my Mom was limited and she experienced severe reactions to many of them.

    My daughter says that she would have suicidal thought at times while being on some medications. I know that it is important to slowly get off of anti-depressants because I worked in a nursing home for 20 years, where many of the residents took these medications. I hope you are careful. My daughter has found that exercising greatly relieves her feelings of anxiety. I hope you are able to do this. I am so concerned about both of you.
    2203 days ago
    It sounds like a bit of depression is interfering with your overall perception of how your family appreciate you, or don't! I know that medication changes can be rough - hope they aren't being done quickly. Mine had to be done more slowly and in much smaller increments than the average person. Do you journal? A lot of people who suffer depression/anxiety issues find keeping a daily journal helps them immensely - it is therapeutic.

    2203 days ago
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