VIOL3T3Y3S
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Struggling

Monday, May 14, 2012

This past week has been really rough. So many things are happening in my life right now, i am finding it really hard to focus on ANYTHING. I can't imagine why... I'm only dealing with a breakup of a 9 1/2 yr relationship in which we are still living together until July 15th, trying to figure out how to live life for myself for the first time ever, busy season at work, and moving soon.

I guess i just feel so weak when i fail.. This in turn sends me on a downward spiral which will eventually lead to me gaining all 46 lbs i have lost back plus some... that has to be the scariest thing to imagine...

I just want to say Thank You to my Spark Buddies - SERENITYSWEIGHT and CONDA86 - and all of the BLC14 Blue Hyacinths. You are all amazing and your support is much appreciated.

-Toni
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BIGSKYCHERIE
    Ending a relationship is always very painful. It must be much harder when you're sharing living space for a time yet. I hope the down days pass quickly and that you don't lose focus on the love for yourself that you're showing by losing the weight and getting healthy. It does take focus, and we're here to help you stay on track. Hang in there!! I don't know you yet, but I will and I'll be here for you too. emoticon emoticon
    2737 days ago
  • VALKYRIA-
    Toni, I am really sorry to hear that you are going through this. I know the words of someone on the internet who you don't know cannot mean THAT much, but I really mean it when I say I know how it feels to need to learn how to "live for yourself." I went through the same thing after a breakup and although I'm not going to pretend I'm super awesome and perfect (I still have issues) , I will say that I KNOW you can overcome your personal hurdles and that although the situation is terrible, it might be an opportunity in disguise for you to learn how to love yourself again. Please take care of yourself and remember that you have many people who love you and support you. Only you can decide how many lbs you are going to gain, and then you will get back on track... you have control, no matter how hard things get. Try to stay positive and find a physical outlet for your stress. emoticon
    2738 days ago

    Comment edited on: 5/16/2012 11:57:48 AM
  • LOVEPASSIONLIFE
    I'm really sorry to hear about your break-up. I can't even imagine how painful and stressful that must be! I think Liz and Conda both had some excellent advice, though! Boxing would be a great stress reliever. And no matter how tough things get, you DO have control over how you eat and when you exercise. You've come SO far that I know you just want to keep going. You can do it!
    2739 days ago
  • LIZMORGAN
    I can't believe you've lost 46lbs already! Wow! I know life can really be a struggle. I've been struggling so much lately, but the one thing that helps me is focusing on the things I can control. I can't control a lot of what happens, but I can control what I eat and when/if I exercise. Knowing that I have control over these little things really helps me :)
    2739 days ago
  • VIOL3T3Y3S
    Thank you both for your comments. I know i just need to focus and keep my sight set on where I am going. I can do this... Grrr.. things just get frustrating at times. We can be our own worst enemy.
    2739 days ago
  • CONDA86
    You are amazing Toni, just remember that! 46 pounds down is beyond awesome! You are going through a lot right now and remember: we are human, we all have our bad days, heck sometimes a bad week. When that happens shake it off and start over. When I was going through some tough stuff I asked my trainer about incorporating some boxing into my workouts, it was awesome. I loved the rush and the release of everything when hitting that boxing dummy! Try that to release some tension! (So bad but I used to pretend it was my old boss haha) We are here for you, I'm only a text away!
    2739 days ago
  • DFENTRESS1
    Don't give up! Sure it's tough. But we have all been there before and we have all given up before. You know that this too will pass and you will be stronger for it. Stay focused on what is important to you, I said to you, not everyone else in your life. It seems selfish, but when you take care of yourself first everyone else's probelms get taken care of with much less effort.

    Hang in there, don't give up again. Keep that 46lbs off!
    2740 days ago
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