Just needing to write it down.
Friday, May 11, 2012
I feel like I've sold out. I'm a manager at a major corporation, I have kids, am married, living the "American Dream" I guess. It's so just not me and I think that's a huge part of my weight problem. I eat when I'm stressed and I'm always stressed. I'm not doing what I'm passionate about. I'm not doing what I'm meant to be doing but the thought of stopping any aspect of it just doesn't work. I make good money at my job and while I really want to go fully into massage I just don't see it happening because eventually the money could be there but it won't be at first and we have bills. When I have time off I'm so paralized by my inability to do what I want to do that I can't do anything. Things are left undone that add to my feelings that I just can't do anything or finish anything.
I'm locked in a cage and this tiger is getting angry. I want to be Me, not this figure of a woman that I feel I need to be. I need to break free from this rat race trap.