No more PLUS sizes!
Friday, May 11, 2012
Even though my closet is still full of them, most of my clothing is stupidly huge on me. We are going to a wedding tomorrow and I want to look decent, if not great. I think compared to how I did look, I DO look great, but I have a long way to go. I didn't want to spend a lot of money - particularly since anything I buy will only be temporary clothing anyway.
Last night, my older daughter and I went to Kohls to look for a dress. I didn't venture over to the PLUS section for the first time in more than twelve years. I thought I might be able to make an XL work for me. There were a lot of options that I liked on the hanger, so I chose a few. At the last moment, in a bit of a panic, I grabbed one (the only option) in a 1X before heading to the dressing rooms.
I tried my least favorite dress first - I hated it, but IT FIT! A little snug, but the style was totally wrong for me, so it was put in the castoff pile. I tried dress after dress and couldn't believe how they fit! One was awesome, but not quite the right shape for me currently. My daughter exclaimed over and over how much thinner I looked. It was a definite boost.
I settled on three dresses and brought them home for my husband to decide on one. He liked two so much that he thought I should have both - that if I look good, I'll feel even better. And that most of my clothes look kinda silly.
I never did try on that 1x dress.
As we were leaving the dressing room, I asked my daughter if she knew what the dress represented. She didn't (she's 11, after all), so I said "That dress is lack of confidence. It is everything that I have left to change in my mind during this journey. I am doing the work, but I don't yet believe in myself. I've got a ways to go." Her response? "That's sad." And I could see it as sad or a lesson in awareness. I AM doing the work. And it was really awesome to see some real results - tangible results.
Now? I can't wait to go to that wedding - not only to celebrate with our friends, but to practice my growing confidence.