March 9th 2012

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Today wasn;t a good day for me. I have been feeling depressed all day long. I didn't do any excerise today.I also didn't do well with my nutrition goals. This journey that i am on is so hard. I am feeling very dicouraged and wondering if i will succeed. Negative thoughts keep running through my mind. I want to lose weight and be the person i imagine myself to be once i am thiner so badly. I am tired of being overweight and being laughed at or having my parents say somethng mean to me like your fat. I just want to be accepted. I feel so alone right now.
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    Hey Tanya, my name is Sarah and I just visited the dealing with depression site and saw your blog asking for help.

    I'm trying to deal with being down too, and I wanted to reach out to you as I recognise a lot of what you are saying.

    I just wanted to tell you that you are beautiful, and although i don't know you personally, i know that everyone is more than just what they look like on the outside so please try to think of something you like about yourself and focus on that, focus on the positive. Tell your parents you are down and are trying to lose weight but would benefit from their SUPPORT!

    I have spent much of my life thinking "when i'm skinny everything will come together and my life will be perfect!" ... but that is absolute B.S! I've been slim before, i long for the days of when i weighed 140lbs. But i wasn't happy. I deprived myself and wasn't healthy. Now, i am 240lbs and losing weight because i want to be healthy again, not just because i want to look better.

    Being slim is not the be all and end all, being happy is, and you can be happy at any size! Life is too short to put it on hold so please don't delay things until you lose weight, if you start enjoying life now im sure you will find you lose weight along the way, i always lose more when i forget counting calories and start enjoying life!!

    My biggest problem is eating when i am bored so i try to keep busy and out of the house (where the food is!). I need to focus more on my health at the moment as i have neglected Spark, which is the best tool ive ever found for motivating and supporting me on my journey! I find im a little 'all or nothing' in life and was very much into Spark when i found it, and have since neglected it! But i am trying not to be too hard on myself and celebrating the small things!

    You, however, need to celebrate massively as you lost 4lbs which is great! Do you have a reward system? I love jewellery so buy myself a little treat when i reach a goal - lose a few pounds, buy new earrings, feel even better about myself, more positive to lose more weight!!

    I hope you are not too down hun, and remember to count your blessings and think of the positives. Someone responded to you before with the idea of keeping a journal which i think is a great idea, its so much easier to make sense of your feelings when they're there in black and white. I like to add images that motivate me, give me an idea to strive for. I also have a picture of me from a time when i was the happiest i have ever felt, and keep it on show so that i can look at it when im down and it always makes me smile and feel more upbeat!

    I hope i haven't gone on too long here and bored you! I just hate to see someone so down.

    Remember, you lost 4lbs already, thats amazing!!


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    2206 days ago
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