I feel like someone has popped my balloon.
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
I was just looking back at a couple of my past blog post and find it ironic that it's been a whole year since my last post and here I am about to run another 5K at the end of this week. Actually it's the same 5K that I ran last year. Last year's race really gave me the running bug and since that race I ran in 3 other races over the course of last summer into the fall. I was and still am not a fast runner but that's ok by me. I just enjoy being a part of it.
Now here's my problem. Technically I've been told I should no longer run by my cardiologist.
I have what is called a bicuspid aortic valve which means I have only 2 flaps in my valve where most people have 3. It has begun to narrow a little and I have moderate regurgitation where blood flows back into my heart. My dr. has told me that I should not allow my heart rate to go more than 100 -130. What is that! That is not much more than walking! I'm only 49 years old for pete's sake! For the 1st time in my life I have really felt healthy for the most part, I've lost weight and felt good about myself for the 1st time in a long time and now I'm being told I'm not soposed to do much more than walk! I'm not ready for that!
Don't get me wrong, There is nothing wrong with walking and I do enjoy going out on nice long walks, but that is not a challenge to me. Running gave me a goal and a challenge to meet and I love it!
So I am really, really having a hard time coming to terms with this. On one hand I don't feel like running is so bad if I'm careful to run a slow jog. That is what I'm currently doing since finding out this news. But even when I try to run as slow as I can my heart rate is going up to 150 -160. Especially if I'm running into the wind or up an incline. I do try to use a little common sense and I do not run up hills. Because that's iust asking to work the heart more.
But I guess that is where my common sense stops. Because on the other hand I've been told that going past 130 puts more strain on the heart and puts me at risk for aneryism or rupture.
I'm not trying to be stupid, I'm just not ready yet! Before I had found all this out I was trying to prepare myself for a 1/2 marathon. I had worked up to the 8 mile point and had really really wanted to atleast do one 1/2 marathon even if meant run/walking it. But now at this point I don't think I could do it in the time that is allowed to finish.
I am still running this weekend in my towns 5K. I know it's probably not very smart but I'm going to do it as slow as I can while jogging the whole way.
I know I'm going to have to come to terms with this at some point but I'm just not ready to do it yet. It's funny how life changes sometimes. Right now I feel like someone has popped my balloon or taken the wind right out of my sails. :(