BOYCRAZYMOMMY
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2 more weeks!

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

UGH that's how much longer I'm out. I've got good range of motion and a lot of the swelling is down but I can't walk with out a limp or some pain and I can't go on my tiptoes so I can't go back to work. If I had a job that I could sit at I'm sure I'd be back but my job is VERY busy...running, walking holding all of the things I still can't do. Which means the run is out this weekend. He did say that I could start taking slow walks with out my crutches. Everyone keeps telling me not to worry this is what workman's comp is for but unless you work in my class you don't understand how stressful being out of work is. I know how much harder everyone elses job is with me out. You have to have a full team.

I'm just so disapointed. I expected to heal super fast I guess and it doesn't make it any easier when people keep saying your out of work over a bruise? I guess they don't understand how painful a bone bruise is and that a bruised tendon could potentially end up torn if not given time to heal. This is just what I was told yesterday. But it doesn't make it easier.

I just want to feel normal again, to be able to get back to my normal routine again. I can feel the depression coming back on and I don't want to go back on meds. So I'm fighting it as much as I can. But it's hard when the weight is coming back on, and knowing there's NOTHING at this moment I can do about it. Knowing that I've paid for a run I can't do sucks. My running partner is amazing and I'm so proud of her. She was so against running when I started and then like a good friend she joined the journey and now she's running a full 30 mins and she's doing the race. I'm so proud of her and jealous at the same time. I'm a jerk I know. But I can't help thinking omg I'm going to have to work so much harder to catch up...and I should be right there with her. And then I get mad because I'm feeling sorry for myself. UGH!!! I'm going back to bed to cry now. This freaking sucks!!!
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