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Okay pity party is OVER

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

I had a 180 this morning.

at 12:16am to be precise. My youngest son woke up cranky at that time and couldn't figure out what he wanted. I was mad. Very very mad.

I huffed back to bed as he cried in his crib and curled up under the covers. Josh got up and went to console Elliott. As he did I have this crushing feeling of guilt come over me. What was wrong with me that instead of giving my 2 year old some love and comfort in the middle of the night, I was so angry with him?! I was berating myself when I realized something.

I don't have to keep doing this. I finally prayed that God would let me sleep, give me peace and give me rest. I fell asleep pretty quickly after that and the night was quiet until 5:50am when our oldest son woke up, I got him back to bed and that lasted until about 6:20am. I finally got up with him and Elliott joined us.

I wasn't in a great mood. I mean I don't handle interrupted sleep very well at all. But I got JJ onto the bus and bundled Elliott up for our walk. I didn't tape my knees and managed to do 2.7 miles in 40 minutes. I'm pretty proud of myself.

I'm feeling much better. I'm more peaceful, less irritable and feeling less stressed overall. Maybe 2 days of no exercise in a row is bad for my mood? emoticon The pity party is over. I'm done with the anger today. I had my protein shake when I got home from my workout, had a hot shower (while Elliott watched Barney *shudder*) and will have a wonderful healthy lunch.

I don't want to let my mood dictate my food anymore! I'm off to buy a great book by Geneen Roth called "when food is love". I am trying to really be aware of this emotional eating thing and praying my way through today!!

Thanks all for the support on the last post! It was not a pretty day (as can be evidenced by two drinks at starbucks last night lol!) but I'm back and in good spirits today.

Let's DO THIS!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SMILESRME
    Oh my...shades of how I would interact with my kiddos when they were smaller; angry at them for the interruption and so very tired. Doubly worse when a mommy can't figure out why the little one is upset!! Those emotions that we feel are very real and it's ok to recognize that. I'm thankful that your husband was able to take over for the moment to console Elliot. Why do we let the guilt overtake us though?? That is just learning to release it every day.

    Glad you got your great walk in and that it's a priority for you to choose the healthy lifestyle of balanced eating and intentional exercise. It's a great recipe! Thankful that God has helped you with that 180; keep focused on that!

    Joy!
    Julia : )
    2774 days ago
  • LOISDESK
    Oh good!! So glad you are in better spirits today! I do think walking/exercise helps the mood...it does for me. Two drinks at Starbucks is a serious indication of a bad day!! LOL

    I didn't know Barney was still on TV! Hey, whatever works to keep 'em entertained while you sneak in your shower time!

    Hope the day continues to be a good one! emoticon
    2774 days ago
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