Okay pity party is OVER
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
I had a 180 this morning.
at 12:16am to be precise. My youngest son woke up cranky at that time and couldn't figure out what he wanted. I was mad. Very very mad.
I huffed back to bed as he cried in his crib and curled up under the covers. Josh got up and went to console Elliott. As he did I have this crushing feeling of guilt come over me. What was wrong with me that instead of giving my 2 year old some love and comfort in the middle of the night, I was so angry with him?! I was berating myself when I realized something.
I don't have to keep doing this. I finally prayed that God would let me sleep, give me peace and give me rest. I fell asleep pretty quickly after that and the night was quiet until 5:50am when our oldest son woke up, I got him back to bed and that lasted until about 6:20am. I finally got up with him and Elliott joined us.
I wasn't in a great mood. I mean I don't handle interrupted sleep very well at all. But I got JJ onto the bus and bundled Elliott up for our walk. I didn't tape my knees and managed to do 2.7 miles in 40 minutes. I'm pretty proud of myself.
I'm feeling much better. I'm more peaceful, less irritable and feeling less stressed overall. Maybe 2 days of no exercise in a row is bad for my mood?
The pity party is over. I'm done with the anger today. I had my protein shake when I got home from my workout, had a hot shower (while Elliott watched Barney *shudder*) and will have a wonderful healthy lunch.
I don't want to let my mood dictate my food anymore! I'm off to buy a great book by Geneen Roth called "when food is love". I am trying to really be aware of this emotional eating thing and praying my way through today!!
Thanks all for the support on the last post! It was not a pretty day (as can be evidenced by two drinks at starbucks last night lol!) but I'm back and in good spirits today.
Let's DO THIS!