The penis cupcake in my fridge and how things are changing.
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
First, let me explain about the cupcake. I teach human sexuality. This is the part of the semester where my students are doing their end of semester presentations. They often take the form of games, where students give out candy or baked goods as prizes. Human Sexuality + Baked Goods = Penis Cupcakes. EVERY SEMESTER.
It is sort of hilarious - my students always think it is soooo scandalous, and that they are the first to be brave enough to do it. I just think it is cute. I do have to say that last year, one group used those little chocolate jimmies for pubic hair, and well, I'll never look at those sprinkles the same way again.
So, about that cupcake. One group yesterday made these awesome looking chocolate cupcakes with hand molded chocolate penises on top. They looked amazingly good, and the group gave me one. It sat on my desk during the rest of the presentations, and all through the next class. I carried it back to my office afterward. It sat on my desk all day, and before I left, I put it in my office fridge. It is still there. I'm NOT eating that cupcake.
I'm using it as a test of wills. It is right there, waiting for me, but I'm going to beat it. I'll let you know how it goes.
So here is the thing. I'm not logging at the moment. I'm losing more than I was when I was logging my food. I think it boils down to this: I was getting lazy about logging, so I kept eating the same things for breakfast and lunch, so I wouldn't have to calculate calories or work hard to find foods. My serving sizes were getting bigger...
When I first started SP, the only things that kept me going were messages from sparkfriends and all the points I could earn by logging everything. I was amazingly competitive, and that outer motivation was what got me moving in the right direction. Now though, I'm loving eating right, I'm loving working out, and I don't really feel like I need to earn points to do those things. It is weird. I switched from external to internal motivation. That isn't supposed to happen.
So, now, the things keeping me going are you guys, and the feeling that I have each day when I slide into smaller clothes, lunge down to get something, or when I fondle my own muscles. I don't need the points right now, but if I do, they are here, waiting for me.
Just like that penis cupcake.