Tuesday, May 08, 2012
Went to BP last night, can now double the weight on my bar for the squats and the tricep workouts are getting more manageable. Now I hate lunges. Those things are devil designed! While I think all this is great for toning I don't think it will do much for my actual weight loss. I need to find time to run as well and get my heart pumping.
I also need to go to bed earlier!
This week is a disaster in terms of food. My heart just isn't in it. I've been having cereal with milk for breakfast, something I haven't done in over a year because I don't eat cereal anymore. or I didn't. I didn't have time to make lunch today and I can't leave the office as I have to leave early so I'm working through my break so I don't know what I'll end up eating. I know I'm going out on Thur and all of it makes me want to say 'to hell with it' and just eat what I want.
But this happens ALL THE TIME! This is why I'm not thin yet. My brain is so damaged that I seem to think a week won't hurt but it does, over and over and over again. I am insane to think that this will bring anything other than weight gain. Like I can somehow 'get away with it' but who am I fooling? Only myself.
And even after all of that, I know that I am not going to make a great effort this week. I am going to meander along, eating carbs and sugar, going to body pump and out at the weekend and then on Sunday i will be filled with remorse when the scale registers a gain.
I will have no one to blame but myself and yet I can't seem to shake out of it. I deserve my fatness.