I need good thoughts please
Saturday, May 05, 2012
Almost 2 weeks ago I got hurt at work. I work in special ed and we were on a field trip. We took our kids fishing with the high school Special Ed. classes. It was a beautiful day so much fun.
Everything was going great until the end. We fished, had a BBQ and then would load back into the buses and head back.....Until my water dog student decided to morph into goo...slide off the picnic bench ooze out the other side and take off like a bullet to the water. I felt like one of those slow motion movies.... you know the one where you yell....Nooooooooo and push people out of the way....now to fast forward lol....Jumped down a 18inch drop and jetted down the sandy beach toward her.... I was hauling A! Just as I was going to grab her she doubled back and I knew she was going to get away so I reached out and grabbed her!!! YAHOOOO the crowd goes wild!!! BUT when I did it I fell or tripped and tumbled and landed like with my legs like a pretzel. And all I could feel was pain in my lower leg. BUT I still had her!!! I heard 50 people applaud followed by... OMG Andi's down! Andi's Down!
I'm trying to not cry...and then try decide am going to cry because I'm hurt or because I'm embarrassed?... Yep Both! So I suck it up and limp back down the beach up the 18in drop and back over to the table...Holding back the tears and trying not to look hurt. Everyone was like OMG that was some Kick A** Ninja move! And WOW you are fast! (See I am now a runner! lol) I sit down and my calf is swelling on the side in my pants so tight and my knee hurts pretty bad. I'm afraid to look because I can feel it's bad but I'm still in denial. So we get back to school and I take motrin and plan on being ok and go home.
I get my leg up and on ice at home. OMG it hurts so bad. I took more anti inflammatory meds and a pain pill. By 10:30 when my husband got home from work, my knee, shin and calf muscle are twice the size of my other leg...and as soon as I see him I just start bawling. It hurts and I'm pissed that I'm hurt. And I'm worried about missing work. I NEVER cry like this when I'm hurt. So Hubz calls the babysitter packs me in the car and off to the ER I go because he's scared I've broken something.
Xray's are taken and nothing's broken but they can see on the film that I have brusied my Tibia...Yes I've bruised the bone! He takes me off work the next day and I have to go to the workers comp doctor the day after that. That doctor does more testing and I'm trying to be brave because I can't afford to be really hurt. I have a bruised Tibia and Bruised Patellar tendon...and puts me on crutches. And releases me back to limited duty with No standing, walking with out crutches, reaching over my head, kneeling, stooping, bending, climbing, balancing. No push, pull or carrying anything over 5 lbs.
HR calls me and say's were taking you off work. You can not do your job with these limitations. The waterworks start again. I've been training for my 5K on mothersday. I've paid my entry fee and now being taken off work is assuring there is no way I'm going to be able to do my race.
I'm holding out hope, I go back to the doctor on Monday. But honestly unless this pain get's better in the next two days and I'm returned to work. My race isn't happening. Sitting around doing nothing is killing me. I WANT to be running and I'm sad because I can't be. I've even conceded to walking it just so that I can do my race. Or taping my leg and getting a Jumper brace to support my tendon and run it in 90 second intervals...I've got it all mapped out in my head. But I can't seem to get my leg to cooperate! And everything I've read say's it could take several weeks to a month to heal.
My husband has even told me he's going to my doctors appt this week so when I try to lie to the doctor about my leg getting better, he can tell the doctor the truth. Then there's the part of me that's like well...it does say I can walk with my crutches...can I do 3.2 miles on them?
I have worked so hard for this race. I went from a non runner to a runner and can feel how much stronger my body was getting. Each run I was getting faster and running further and with less effort. And now I'm a week away from my race and I'm going to be sidelined if I don't get cleared.
I know I'll be ok if I just tell the doctor that I'm getting better. It won't be a lie but I just won't focus on the bad stuff. And then the rational part of me is scared that I'm setting myself up for real damage and I won't be able to do my 1/2 marathon in October because I may not have given myself enough time to heal. But when I'm walking my leg feels fine. So do you think I'm ok to walk the race...even if I don't finish...I can say I at least tried right? I just don't know what to do. My running partner is running it too and I can go cheer her on but the competative part of me is like you can do this...just don't run it. Take it easy. UGH!!! I just don't know what to do.
I still have a week...anything could happen right? Please keep good thoughts for the answer I want on Monday so I can go back to light training and run my race. Please don't think I'm being reckless because when it comes down to it I'm not going to do anything to injure myself further...I'm just being optimistic.