Who has heard of nocturnal epilepsy?
Friday, May 04, 2012
Not something I normally advertise, but I have had epilepsy on and off my whole life. By that I mean since I was 18 months old. It comes and then goes away. And then it comes back in different forms. Three years ago, a few months before I joined spark, it came back in the form of nocturnal epilepsy, meaning I only have them in my sleep. I had e second one this week. So why?
Well, I have been very tired. My boyfriend has been very ill covering with shingles, work has been killer, and I am always wanting to do better for myself. Yep, tired. Apparently, that can be a contributing factor. Not thrilled about that. My disorder has prevented me from doing things my whole life to a degree, when all I wants was to do what I wanted. It is the reason I had to stop dancing when I was a teenager. I swore I would stop letting it get in the way and I would find ways to get around it. Yet, here it is again, I couldn't go to work for the last two days. It zaps you of energy, and it's not like I can get by on the bare minimum when you teach elementary school. Frankly, this sucks. I am not the lounge and get better type.
To be clear, this is not a pity party, this is me venting. I want to be teaching. I love my job. I love being around my 300 kids. And then there is my relationship. My boyfriend I have dated since august 2010, and have lived together for 5 months and he got to see this display in my sleep which freaked him out. He is being a good sport and has been fantastic, but I can tell. He mentioned once or twice about his search on the Internet for more information. Considering before this he had been talking about the future, and I mean the whole future package, I can't help but wonder how it will change after seeing it all first hand instead of just knowing about the possibility of it.
I realize this is irrational. I also realize this is partially thought about becuase of the years of stigma I have associated with it. Kids can be cruel. And I need to remember that I am an adult, and someone loves me very much. I would be interested if there are any sparklers out there with epilepsy as well, just to hear from.
Thanks for reading.