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May 2 - Okay, I remember how this feels now....

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

I had a pretty good day today. Weighed in at work for the Biggest Loser challenge and didn't even care that a coworker knows how much I weigh now! There were a LOT of people signing up, so I was pretty excited about that! We got our car back that was in the shop for 2 weeks, I ate healthy all day, and got in all my water. I did another 2 mile WATP video and then then went on YouTube and found a 10 minute standing ab workout to do. I went over my calorie burn goal for the day AND had laundry going while I did it! I love how I feel when I take action!

Last night, I was reading in my devotional a passage about how sometimes we have to just wait. And waiting doesn't necessarily mean tht we are being deprived of something, it just means that God has something else planned right now. I was laying in bed thinking about the ups and downs of my weight gain and loss journey and was thinking about the lesson or the reasons why it has taken me so long to get it right. I thought "I wonder why God wanted me to wait to get this all figured out?"

I suddenly realized that I have been overweight for EXACTLY 1/2 of my life. For my first 18 years of life, I was thin, athletic, in shape, healthy...but I was convinced that I was the fattest, most unattractive person on the planet. Then, after turning 18, I actually got fat. Little by little, I put on more and more weight because instead of dealing with stress and a broken heart head on, I ate. But the funny part is that I've spent the last 18 years wishing I had stayed the way I was before I turned 18: thin, fit, healthy, athletic, etc. And then I realized that I never appreciated the gift that God had given me: a healthy, strong body and a healthy, strong mind. I focused on the negatives and convinced myself that I was unworthy and then I punished myself. I have been thinking all day about the people in the Bible who were told "Wait. Trust Me. Have faith." and how, in a lot of ways, I'm just like them. So, I've waited. And I get it. And with God's help, I will REALLY get it!

So, anyway...that's it. Just thought I'd share some of my thoughts for today!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • FRECKS96
    YAY! Welcome back! What a great insight you had. And it sounds like a big dose of motivation too. Keep it up!
    2214 days ago
    I totally relate to your experiences as a teen. I'm working pretty hard to try to get to the weight that I was when I was first married, but all those feelings about why i thought I was fat, etc. keep coming up. I know that in order for me to stay at that weight when I get there I need to have a better body image and not be so critical of myself. It's easy to say, not so easy to do. Good luck!
    2215 days ago
    Terrific to see you SPARKIN' again!!

    2215 days ago
    2215 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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