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Hard Winter

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

I moved in late November to a larger home. This has been one of the hardest moves to date and coming from me who has moved around more than my fair share, that is saying something indeed.

I have been fighting depression since November as well if not longer. I refuse to take medication to alleviate the symptoms of despair and loneliness as I remain convinced that if I make the right lifestyle changes that I can achieve a state of mental equilibrium on my own. I have been making those changes but like most good things, they take time.

I got into Nursing School finally for which I have spent the last two years upgrading my hard sciences. I was hoping that this would afford me some peace but instead I still feel a disquiet in my soul, hoping I have finally made the right choice for my life direction... How do you know??

Thankfully, all this emotional mumbo jumbo has not negatively affected my weight lose, the scale has been very steady at around 140. I would love to see it move down, but as long as it's not moving up I'm not going to complain too much.

I am in the process of trying to be faithful to the Candida Diet right now as my body and hormones are also all a mess. I fell off the wagon last night and binged but I'm used to doing this and have already forgiven myself and have started anew this morning.

I just wish I felt inherently "happier"... my joie de vive is lacking.

I will go for a bike ride this afternoon and quiet my active mind and find some peace.

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