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Sat. April 28, 2012 - Barely Hangin On...What's Happening?

Saturday, April 28, 2012

My life feels so disarray...a constant flux. Some days I feel like I am barely hanging on while other days, I have a strong grasp. I am amazed that my emotions are holding up with TOM here. I can't believe it, more court stuff...We won trial. She has been repeatedly told NO by the commissioner, judge, and superior court judge. So we receive a notice yesterday her intent to relocate to another state. She has been ordered already that NO she cannot take our step daughter and baby out of state...We have 30 days to respond, yet she be gone as of Monday... Oh, wow, and my step son has decided at 18, to be LAZY. He took over his bedroom, living room, back bathroom...basically 1/2 the house. It was like a PIGSTYE. I am in bed asleep to be awaken by choking, unable to breath. I was in a dead sleep and started to cough because I could not breath. My throat and nose closing up. I woke up, smelling cigarette smoke. I felt over and hubby was snoring away. What the heck? I get out of bed, my house smells of cigarette smoke of the worst kind. I walk out to the living step son is in bathroom. I wait for him to come out. I ask, what the heck, why are you smoking in the house? His response was "I am not, I haven't even gone outside to smoke." I respond, "I know, you been smoking in the house." He responds, it is dad. I respond back to him that it is not dad as dad is asleep next to me. Also, I know better too, my hubby not smoke in house like that and hurt my heart. I go back to bed. In the morning, I tell my husband. I was not happy either because I now had very little sleep because I was awaken and could not breath and ended up laying there in a sitting position for over an hour...It took 2.5 hours to fall asleep. We had tons to do, so I was tired. Well, next night, I start smelling smoke, but it is coming from different direction...Found that step son is going to back room to smoke so it is filtering into my bedroom.

Ok, last straw, I told hubby, I am done, gone, leaving, can't handle it anymore. I am not going another night of no sleep and hurt my heart because of him. My husband got a little pissed, but not at me. He walked out and told his son that he better not stay up all night and keep going in and out and smoking. I got a good night sleep. The house has become a cyclone. I have no energy to cook, let alone clean, I just can't do it. My husband is like, wow, this sucks... I asked his son to do the dishes...he doesn't do them. I get him up and ask him to do the kitchen, he says later, not now. Later never came. Husband asks him to clean the front room that he has taken over and destroyed. There was no way I was going to clean it again. The house continues to get worse. Hubby and I are working our butts outside in shed, going through the boxes, downsizing, mowing the grass that is 2 feet high, fixing the truck window before the rain hits. I then have to come in to fix food for everyone. I had already done the dishes, but the kitchen is still a disaster. I told step son that my sister and daughter may be coming over, to please clean up in the living room. Heck no...he doesn't do it. My husband is fully aware, fully watching me politely ask, going ahead and doing it myself..he comes and helps me. Next day comes, his son does nothing. He is still staying up all night and sleeping all day..and when gets up, goes off to hangout with friend or his moms, comes home, crawls back onto the couch that he has turned into a bed. He talked me into letting him bring a bed, dresser to the house that was his mom's. He said he was going to get an apartment with a girl. We originally told him no, we are downsizing, getting rid of stuff, that we did not want to store that he is shipping out soon. Well, rather than fight, we gave in...I know, should not have.

Well, a few days later, still no clean up, help, and hubby and I are fully disgusted. He now has dishes piles in the front room, dining table...My house is now embarrassing beyond recognition. NO NO this is not happening. My hubby was pretty fed up. He walked out, told his son, I love you, I will do anything to help you, but you got to help out around here. You have been lazy. Son says, "I help out." "No you don't, you have been Lazy." Mom has asked you to do dishes 3 x and you not do them. I've asked you to clean up front room, she has asked you to clean up front room. It is basically your mess, so clean up after yourself. You are an adult now. You are 18 years old. You have two choices, you can clean up and help out around here with the chores or you can move out. You are no longer going to sleep all day, stay up all night keeping us awake, smoke in house. It is simple, you pick up after yourself and help out or move out. Son basically doesn't respond or anything, so he repeats himself and still no answer so walks off. Well, I told him to just let it go and give his son a chance to make a choice, see what happens.

Sure enough, he is packing up. I walk out, ask him, "are you moving? leaving?" He answers, "No." I said, "You know you are welcome, you just need to help out around here." "I know." 30 minutes later, I hear the door shut. I come out to look and he is gone. He had most of his stuff packed up, and had taken some of his stuff and was gone. The next day he came back to get some more stuff. We had errands, so we locked up, all windows, etc. Well, he came back, unlocked a window, took stuff and left. We locked everything back up, this time the deadbolt locked so now he can't use his key to get in and can't sneak in a window. We come home to find him sitting on front porch. He has to face us to get his stuff. I asked him what he was planning to do with the furniture. He said he didn't know. I told him he needed to get it out of my house. He came yesterday, got a couple things and said, his mom's boyfriend and friend of his is coming to get the stuff tomorrow (today). I said they are not coming in my house. We put it all outside ourselves, and told him they can come get it now, or he can. They never came and got it, nor have they today yet. We have it tarped. If it is out there much longer today, I will be getting my truck and taking to the dump.

I was suppose to have the woman's luncheon, my support group meeting, the gaila all this week, and I had to cancel everything I had planned this week due to all the drama and chaos. My husband and I have our house back, cleaned as we worked our butts off yesterday cleaning it. OMGosh, the garbage we found. He took my forks, spoons, soup lids, candy wrappers, stuffed down the edges of the couch. He had cigarette butts all over floor at end of couch. He had my good coffee cup filled with ashes, nut shells, and some kind of grouse spit or something...Needless to say, it went to the garbage.

I have had plenty of calorie burning movement. My eating has not been what it should be, but has not been bad either. We pawned our wedding rings off too, just so we can fix the truck. I am taking it pretty easy today. I have pretty good spirits. I noticed a cyst on my back/shoulder that I have now had for a very long itches off and on, and I noticed now that it has shrunk to almost totally gone. It still itches some, but not has much and is nearly gone. Wow, I hope it goes completely away. Maybe my body is changing to healthier so it is healing and I will lose some pounds. I weighed in with same weight. I am not gaining, but not having a loss, but I feel a loss coming on.

when I say I have not eaten exactly like I should, it means I have had take out food with healthy food at home..... We did subway sandwich 2 days because we were starved and been working so hard. Drank lots of water. Had salad for dinner...and basically that was it...had fruit for snack. I could have had more veggies/fruit but too busy and too tired. Today, trying to keep my protein / Iron / fiber up. Need to start getting the water in me. I sure hope this weekend/week goes better. I know it is going to be busy, but should be less chaotic...I hope. I do know I need to talk to our lawyer and find out what papers to type up for my husband to respond and motion courts for contempt charges on her.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Teenagers. They are from a different planet I think. I have had 6 of them over the years. 4 being mine. My son is 18 also, the baby, and we are the hang out so at any given time, there are 1 - 4/5/6 here. I think they live here. In fact, the other day, I said when such and such gets back home from school......

    And yes, a pigsty at times. They pretty much have run of the lower level. They will get in and clean it when I blow my top, or when I say no you can't take the truck until it is done. I mean really, how hard is it to throw away a soda can when you go to get another?! So I go through spurts where I just don't buy it for them. They don't need it anyways.

    Anyways, hugs to you. Stay strong, stay committed to your goals. Life can get crazy and sometimes seems out of control but we can always control what we feed our bodies. Keep healthy food on hand at all times, and even if emotional eating is a problem (not saying it is for you) but if it is, just make sure it is healthy stuff :) It is important to stay healthy, stay clear headed, stay focused and good nutritious food and good quality sleep will help you.

    More hugs!

    2181 days ago
    2184 days ago
    emoticon {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}},wow that was horrible,how disrespectful.He appeared to be such a nice polite young man,I never would have thought he was capable of putting you through all that.I am so sorry you missed your heart events,I know how much they meant to you.Ride the storms out and now maybe some peace and relaxation is in order for you both now.What a nightmare,you don't deserve.Hope all gets better soon.Sending you positive healing vibes and strength and prayers. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2184 days ago
    Wow, and to think I just posted on your page how I have been thinking of you and how proud of you I am. Your blog confirms my feelings of being proud of you! I am sorry you had to go through so much with your husband's son but now that he is gone, I wish you some peace, some great night's sleep, a clean house and most of all - happiness.

    You keep at it - you are such a strong woman! Emotionally, mentally and physically you are getting there. emoticon
    2184 days ago
    emoticon Hang in there!
    2185 days ago
  • KJACOBS1111
    I'm glad to hear that you have your house back. Just stick with it & do the best you can!
    2185 days ago
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