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Bull's Eye

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I'm scheduled to get another nerve procedure tomorrow morning. I've been in complete denial about this since writing the date down two weeks ago. Why? I need to figure this out. Well, I will apparently get poked (deeply) in my neck to find a specific vein or artery (?) and inject a magical potion that will hopefully help with my chronic pain.
I guess I am a bit wiggly about it. Well, I am wiggly anyway I guess, due to my health. But in the words of my Spark pal Cannie50, I am having my own personal earthquake!

Currently my attention span is like that of my puppy Olive:
What time do I need to stop eating/drinking again?
Ooh, a shiny pair of earrings on sale now!
I should wrap up my boss' travel in case I need more time off.
Wow, Peet's Coffee is on sale at Safeway! Need more caffeine! (no, no Bren, you REALLY don't!)
I need to ask my DH to get some meals together in anticipation of being couch-bound post-procedure.
I smell popcorn! Who is making popcorn?!?
Oy! Ok, let's re-group.

I've done numerous procedures to try to alleviate some of my pain. I am a pro at this. Why is this causing me to register a 4.8 on my richter scale? What is the deal?

It's definitely due to the location of the procedure. The Pain Center docs will be working in my neck for a bit. Creepy.
Think of your neck as a nice slice of lasagna if you will. From what I have (finally) read, they will be going pretty deep. I guess that would be the ground turkey layer of that lasagna...? Can't they do this through the nice cheesy top layer without messing with the wonderful stuff below?
This is not an inviting feeling for me. I don't want someone digging around in my lasagna.
Plus, there is a chance of seizure since the area is near my carotid artery. I was told that the doctors know how to stop that seizureif it were to happen. Ok, I guess?

I've decided that I need to use my (often twisted) sense of humor to get me to the Pain Center tomorrow in good spirits, especially since this procedure is only to treat my right hand. I will still need to book 3 more procedures for my other appendages, and then repeat, repeat, repeat.

So far I am looking for stickers like the Target bull's eye logo to slap onto my neck before my appointment. Wouldn't that be just awesome?
Or, perhaps I could use a scented magic marker and write a large 'X' to mark the spot?
I'm glancing at my office supplies as I type this, and wondering how I can use those nifty 'mark here' arrow stickies to pile on my neck, all pointing to the right area.

I AM making myself into a literal dart board, right? Should I bring darts? I could just hand them to the doctors as I enter the room and then stand up against the wall.
Maybe bring in a plastic samurai sword? Some fondue skewers?

In all honesty, I just want this to help my pain, with every fiber and nerve ending in my being.
Just for a little while.
If I could cross my fingers and toes for good luck I would.
Would you do that for me please?

'Nuff Said
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    2511 days ago
    Hoping for a dash of miracles sprinkled over your procedures.

    All this going on and you can still hit the humor nerve and make me LOL with your recap of the wacked out attention span (that sounds incredibly familiar)

    Even skilled doctors can be helped by the power of prayer
    and a little fairy magic emoticon
    2514 days ago
    OH, I want this to help your pain too! Looked you up because of - guess who - CANNIE! You are famous now so we will all put stickies on our pages pointing to YOUR page.
    You are a funny lady with a fantastic attitude. I wanna be your friend!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2516 days ago
    I truly wish I could reach in there and give you a hug emoticon I know I'm reading this a little late and you have already had the surgery...which I'm SO THANKFUL to hear you're doing good, but YOU are such a trooper!! emoticon I don't know if I could joke around like that. I LOVE your attitude and God knew what he was doing when he gave you that Truly AWESOME Gift! He will see you through this emoticon
    My prayers are with you!
    2516 days ago
    You are an amazing, strong and courageous person.

    Pain is such a wearing thing for anyone. I wish there was something, some miracle out there that would get rid of the pain for you.

    Just as you are being courageous, so are your doctors. I myself would be scared and wondering at this crazy, beautiful, delicate, yet strong individual that is trusting me to poke with a needle.

    My thoughts are with you. I really hope that this helps you...I really do.

    Good luck.

    2516 days ago
    What a great attitude you have...I hope it all went very smoothly....and the pain stays away permanently.

    Take care....you're in my thoughts! emoticon
    2516 days ago
  • OOLALA53
    Geesh, you have to be awake for this? Not even an Ativan to get you relaxed?

    Is there such a thing as reverse voodoo, where sticking needles in dolls ends pain? I wish...
    2517 days ago
    It's very hard to type with everything crossed but I will!! All my prayers are going with you and this WILL give you some relief!! emoticon emoticon
    2518 days ago
    Hey Sweetie-peetie,

    I will cross my fingers, toes, arms, legs and even braid my hair (that's crossed right?). This procedure is going to be the one that makes it all better...pinky swear!! You are going to get relief I just know it!

    I'll be thinking of you and sending telepathic messages to those docs to treat you with extra special care!!!

    As always sending cool breezes and hugs to you!!!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2518 days ago
    Everything's crossed and prayers are being said. We're here for you. You can do this. You are so strong.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2518 days ago
    Post-it arrows! And LOTS of la la land meds. Sheesh, I really hope it goes way better than you fear. And I hope you get some relief from it! Are the other ones for other body parts also deep neck piercings? Hey, that's it, bring a cute little nosering to stick in the hole. Yeah, right, sure, that's kooky. Good luck with both the procedure and with retaining your sense of humor.

    2518 days ago
    On I'm crossing every body part for you. And a friend pointed out that our intestines are always crossed for each other. Since we have football field length intestines, just think of all that intestinal love for you!
    2518 days ago
    I'm crossing all my appendages for you!

    Hey -- maybe it'll be like accupuncture; a little needle poke here; a little needle poke there; suddenly you're feeling good!

    2518 days ago
  • LGAR519
    I'm praying that everything will work out for you.
    2518 days ago
    Ugh..needles..yuck..and yuck and I feel your stress.
    Thinking of the good:
    Needle poke = temporary pain to get rid of chronic pain (praying and keeping all kinds of things crossed)
    Couch bound post procedure = time to watch lots of destressing movies and catch up on spark to get support from your friends.
    The best "what if "to think of pre-procedure..what if this really really really helps..

    Sending lots of emoticon and good thoughts your way. p.s. Thank you so much for stopping by my blog in the middle of everything you're dealing with and understanding. Sometimes you just need someone to get it!
    2518 days ago
  • BECKYB73
    Crossing stuff for you....maybe you can find some temporary tattoos to help with their aim?
    2518 days ago
    I'm keeping everything crossed for you Bren....even my eyes!

    LOL....just read Marki's comment...great minds think alike ;P
    2518 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/25/2012 6:46:16 PM
  • MISSB8604
    Dearest Bren,

    I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and definitely praying. I think your amazing sense of humor WILL help you get through it. Please stay positive, think of wonderful things and don't be hard on yourself if things don't go exactly right. You can do this and I have no doubt you will.

    You are loved.

    Your Friend,
    2518 days ago
    Bren, you know I'll cross EVERYthing including my eyes for you! Heck, I'll make my DH cross his too. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, sending prayers, and telling that Tracy girl she's going to have to wait, until we're both ready to move on together. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2518 days ago
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