MOMMAJENNYBEAN
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lonely.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I thought i would be used to having him work such crazy hours and many times not have a day off but I am really lonely today. He has been at court or work all week or baseball for our son. I am home alone with the kids all day. I miss life. I miss being able to go out for a walk but i can not do that because to get out of the house with 18 month old twins is more tiring than going for a walk. I miss working more than I ever thought because at least I was getting other adult contact. Right now I sit home all day clean and take care of the kids while the day ....months and....years pass by. i keep asking myself when will it be my turn to have what I want instead of his career running everything. I just feel like my life is on the back burners due to his career choice. Then I had twins and I couldn't go back to work because we couldn't afford daycare and he can't take care of them for that long without getting tired because he worked til 4am. i would do anything for my family but even I need time for me and my happiness
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  • NJEMTGIRL1982
    Hang in there! I know all to well how you feel. I am a mom to 5 children ranging from 12 years to 19 months. It gets hectic. I was very lucky to have went back to work at this point though and I treasure that time. But my days off and I am home all day long with the kids gets exhausting and seems as if it will never end. We don't live too far from each other so maybe we can work out a play date in the future and be able to get out of the house, have the kids play and maybe get some exercise in while we are at it! emoticon
    2366 days ago
  • AMYLOUD
    My kids are teenagers now, but I remember the days when they were little and my dear husband traveled overseas quite frequently for weeks at a time. It was very difficult and there were days when I felt a bit like you do today. At times it seemed so overwhelming and lonely. But now that I look back I can see that it was just a season in my life. Kids have a habit of growing up.

    What helped me was exercising early in the morning and walking the mall with my kids in the stroller. I also was involved with my church so that helped me to be around adults and gave me something to focus my attention on other than home life...that kept me sane.

    Even though those days were difficult, I am so thankful for them now. The time I invested in the trenches with my kids has been paying off now in their teen years. I am hopeful that the investment will continue to show a return.

    You are not alone! This too shall pass.
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    2390 days ago
  • BROOKEW2
    Maybe you could see if they have a stroller strides in the community. If not it might be a business oppertunity for you to look into. Its basically a bunch of woman who pay to have a group of moms to walk with a few times a week. Also there is the MOPS organization for stay at home moms. Its funny because sometimes I look at all the activities the libary has for the little ones and I wish I could take her to them, but I have to work. Although I am like you I need adult interaction.
    When I was younger I worked at a day care because I recieved a discount on having my children there with me. That could be a possability. Getting a gym membership where there is childcare available. I know its hard getting two young ones ready and can be exhausting but once you get into a routine and pattern you get used to it and they get used to it and it becomes a whole lot easier.

    Feeling trapped is not a good feeling.
    2391 days ago
  • ALASKASKY
    There are some places in my area that offer NIGH OUT for parents. If you don't have any family or friends to watch them for a few hours this might be an option. Also I just found a website called meetup.com where you can find groups of people with like interests in your area. I like to write so I found a few writers groups, now I;m looking for a parent of teens group. Having twins has to be very exhausting for you, but you really need to get out.

    I just remembered, in my local mall and sometimes when the weather is nice there is a group of mothers who bring the babies along with strollers and push them around the mall while exercising. They walk the mall and then meet in a circle at one end of the mall and do cardio and strength training and stretches. I keep thinking that I wish I had something like that when my son was a baby.

    Hang in there and remember if you need help don't hesitate to seek it because your children deserve to have a functioning mom. And keeping all this stress inside is not good.

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    2391 days ago
  • XZOMBIECUPCAKEX
    You are a super trooper. I can understand some of how you feel, the other part I can relate to. I don't have kids, but I know what its like to feel like the back burner. Just know, that because of your sacrifices, you are making your kids worlds brighter and happier since they have their mommy around all the time.

    I know what its like to have no adult contact and how crazy you must feel. You might want to sit your hubby down and talk to him about this. That's what I had to do. We had the whole "look, I know you're tired from work, but I need to get out of this place before i go crazy and murder you in your sleep." talk and after a while he got the hint lol Keep your head up, and stay above water. But know, that things can only get better if you help them get better because like it or not, you control your destiny. (that sounded harsh but thats not how i meant it sorry) If you need someone to vent to I have no problem listening, or reading lol

    Btw..you are beautiful inside and out! emoticon
    2392 days ago
  • PUNKY100
    Hey!! That can be a sticky situation. I don't have kids, but I am very interested in 'women's studies' (I only call it that because it's the only thing I've heard it called) and you are not the only one. Is there any way you could meet up with some of the other moms in the neighborhood for play dates or to swap some babysitter names? Also, I don't know anything about your marriage, but I would tell all of this to your husband. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in everything we are doing that we don't realize the other person is unhappy unless they tell us.

    Even if it's e-mailing or texting back and forth with someone, that can be at least a bit of social interaction away from the kids.

    Good luck, we are all pulling for you!!!!!

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    2392 days ago
  • ALEJANDRAPEREZ
    WHAT ABOUT SOME FRIENDS, CAN YALL TAKE TURNS BABYSITTING EACH OTHER KIDS SO YOU CAN HAVE SOME TIME TO ENJOY OR EVEN GO HAVE LUNCH WITH YOUR HUSBAND. AS FOR ME I HAVE THREE CHILDREN AND I WORK PART TIME AND GO TO SCHOOL AND TAKE CAREOF MY FAMILY SOMETIMES IT CAN GET VERTY STRESSFUL BUT I AM HAPPY. I ALSO HVE TO SQUEEZE TIME TO WALK I TRY TO WALK THREE TO FOUR DAYS A WEEK. BUT I DO UNDERSTAND HOW U FEEL I FELT LIKE THAT WHEN MY KIDS WERE SMALLER THAT I PREFER TO STAY HOME THAN HAUL MY KIDS EVEN TO THE GROCERY STORE.BUT KEEP IN MIND THIS IS ONLY TEMPORAY YOUR CHILDREN WILL EVENTUALLY GROW UP AND U WILL MISS WHEN THEY WERE BABIES ENJOY IT WHILE U CAN AND TRY TO ASK FOR HELP WHERE SOMEONE CAN WATCH THEM AND TAKE SOME TIME OFF.GOODLUCK WISH THE BEST
    2392 days ago
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