Something you don't know.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
I'm 22, never had a real relationship and have never been in love.
I always feel like I'm not good enough for anyone, I mean with my track record how could I be?
When your overweight you lack confidence, I had zero.
When I was around guys i was constantly worrying about what they thought about me.
I felt invisible around groups of people who would want me that way?
Now I know, I cannot love or be loved if I don't love myself. The hatred I have/had with myself is so much more of a fight then any relationship I tried to make work.
I have recently been spending a lot of time with a friend. We had a few to many drinks one night and things happened, then it happened again and I started to feel insecure again. Always worrying about what he was thinking, hanging on his every whim. Last night I cried because we slept in separate rooms. But this morning I woke and shook myself into reality again. I'm still learning to love myself I don't need a relationship to fulfill my happiness in life. I am happy by myself with my only emotions being the ones I am battling with my outer and inner self. I am more and more happy each time the scale goes down and somebody tells me I look good. Why stop now? So the resolve of this is, learn to love yourself then you can really believe that someone can and does love you.