I'll Marry You When You Quit Smoking!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
This has been weighing on my mind so much its building into anger and bitterness. My fiancé says hes not going to marry me unless I quit smoking. Well he smokes and he has a stent in his heart, he also has high BP and high cholesterol. Then I develop this Vit. D defiency and my teeth are so soft and brittle they are breaking off quickly and I develop this abscess and he says to me, if you quit smoking we can save that money and get your teeth fixed. Yeah granted that's true. But stop making quitting smoking and ultimatum to everything. We looked into getting me on his dental insurance under the domestic partnership clause but dang it
will cost us about 100.00 a week in just taxes bc they don't pre-tax it. If we are married it will only cost 3.00 every 2 weeks. So dang whets the logical choice. Duh! But he uses the smoking as an excuse. I say either marry me or I'm done. I'm tired of living in sin and tried of the excuses. If I'm not good enough to marry then your not good enough for me to take care of your household , your family, your finances, your health, your grandchildren. IDK people I just think something else is going on in his mind and I'm not one to sit around and wait for the bomb to drop or sit around wondering everyday why I'm not good enough to marry. IDK I'm just angry and needed to vent.
One day its 80 degrees and I'm laying out in the sun and the pollens flying. The next its in the low 40's, raining and I'm in a jacket. It's tearing my asthma up. I lay down and can actually fill my chest filling up with mucus and getting tighter and tighter the longer I lay there. Coughing constantly and hard enough to make me feel like I'm gonna pass out. Then I develop an abscess on my gum above a bad tooth. So now I'm on antibiotics. And had to start a low dose steroid for my asthma as well. Man Oh man I go from one extreme to the other. Last week my pulm. doc. took away one of my asthma inhalers, left me on only 1. I was so happy about this. But, since I have noticed a decline in my asthma. I think we choose the wrong one to go off of. Gonna request we put me back on that one and stop the one he left me on and see how that does.
I really hate doing that bc I have a friend that is stage 3 COPD and cannot afford her inhalers at all. So I gave her the inhaler I went off of and the refills. She needs it so bad. But I can't risk my own health. I've tried to convince her to go to go to some of the crisis centers here in town, but she won't do it, IDK why, so I decided I'd help her, but now I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take it back.