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Please , PLEASE realize this is NOT a bad thing

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Today, I've talked to my back Dr, well it was Thurs, but I didn't hear her, there was sooo much going on at that appt, that I literally FROZE UP !! She was giving me so much info all at once, I just couldn't handle it. It was NOT her, it was ME !!! I tend to FREEZE UP. I DID have Elaine with me, who WAS taking notes. So today I talked to both Elaine. ALWAYS a good idea to have someone with you in this case, and Dr. Here's what was said in just:

So please realize what was decided IS a good idea. With whats going on with my back,,, 3 different things, of which 1 can be surgery to help, I am NOT sure about this, we'll talk more next time, I've always NO to this. Surgery on the back begets MORE surgery later on down the road. The other 2 conditions, nothing can be done, doesn't matter what they are. Also a neurological illness, of which has reached it peak, also nothing can be done, and my poor footie. The foot, more surgery will be done, who knows the outcome, no matter the outcome, there's localize otheoporsis in it, I'll keep breaking it, dispite all, and the toes are severly twisted. Alone, any of these things, can EASILY be handled, EASILY SO !! Well , admittly they are HARD to but, CAN be dealt with, but combined together, they are very hard. The neurologal illness has progressed to a point, making walking extremely hard. Making it so when I walk, bringing the foot forward is unreal hard, so I am now back in my wheelchair.

This is actually a GOOD THING !! NOT something to be considered "bad" or be "pitied". I've ALWAYS KNOWN I'd eventually be back in it. If you've ever read my story, you know that 5 yrs ago, I was told "Diane, you will NEVER Walk again !" and I DID against ALL ODDS !!!! I had to FIGHT LIKE MAD to do so !! But, I DID SO !! WOHOOOOO ! These past 5 yrs were a SPECIAL GIFT I knew would NOT last long. It was soo neat to have them this long. I knew again, it would NOT last. Like a precious orcid, it was given to be enjoyed for awhile. The time has passed. OH the FUN I HAD !! LOLOL I did UNBELIEVABLE things I was NOT supposed to DO !!!!!!!! I WAY OVER DID IT too !! HAHAHAHA ! SHOCKING myself and my Dr's !!! Almost putting myself in danger MANY times, by rollerskating, climbing up a ride, that was 51 ft high and WEEEEEE DOWN that water ride I WENT this past summer !! That was HUGH NO NO !!! BOY OH BOY did my Dr's FREAK OUT AT THAT ! And yes, I DID get hurt, but I could of EASILY of gotten paralyzed from it !!!! Instead I was soo LUCKY that I just hurt myself for awhile !!!! I ESCAPED AGAIN !! Playing AGAIN with fate !!!! WOW I did that A LOT !! hehehehe I DID SO MANY things !!!!! Dancing, bowling, tried running, I just HAD FUN !!

So is this a "SAD" thing? NOPPERS !!!! its FINE !!! it'll take sometime to adjust though. ANd yes I'll need help to adjust to it, and I am looking for a good therapist to help me, for I still see myself as one who can still SKI and RUN and do NOT see myself as permanently this time in it, and yet, I KNOW this time it IS ! So yeah, I need the help to adjust. Hey now this time,,,, I want to go chair dancing, and FAST !! Surely they MUST ALLOW chair bowling? They CAN"T expect me to go bowling on my belly? LOL What SITE that'd BE ! HAHAHAHAHA !!!!!! I can't get back UP !!! Picturing a beached whale,,,sorry I see things in a cartoon situation,,,,,see I DO Laugh A LOT at life !!! Its NOT a bad thing.

I had been so fortunate and I STILL AM !!!! I STILL AM !!!!!! For NOW I will have the energy to do the things I WANT TO DO !! I've been fighting so HARD to walk,,,its been drawing away my strength from doing things I WANT to do, like reading, painting more. Playing my guitar, my Wii. I want to have SO MANY people over to my place, but I've been "to tired" from trying to walk" ,,,i've NOT had the energy and been in so much extra pain on my left side. So this will rebuild it. For the past few months, I've been laying in bed,,,starting literally at the walls, and not moving at all, thats NOT living.

Should you ever later on, find yourself in a situation,,,thats drastic,,you can choose to cry about it, or do as I am,,,,and look for the positive about it. This is how I first ALSO handled it. A power chair is FUN to drive !! DO NOT BE FOOLED !! They ARE FUN to DRIVE !!! Do you think, we do NOT like SPINNING THEM? You'd be WRONG !!!! that kitten of mine,,,, SPIN HER !! Like a salad spinner I will if my neck can handle it, Wincey used to LOVE IT !!

Looking so forward to seeing if I can regain any energy now. I HOPE SO !!!! THANKS ALL !!!!! I HOPE SO !!!! WEEEEEEEE going for a RIIIIIIDDDDEEEEEEE
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MAYFIELD0801
    You are amazing, someday maybe I'll be more like you. I'm workin on it. You are an inspiration to us all. emoticon emoticon
    2210 days ago
    Diane, thank you so much for posting this! I am amazed by your attitude!! This post brought tears to my eyes because it shows me that I need to stop feeling sorry for myself! I, too, am having issues with my foot. But MY issue will not put me in a wheelchair (so far). MY issue can be taken care of with surgery. And if I do end up with more surgery to remove my foot, there are always things I can do to be able to walk! I am so happy that you were able to do so much in your five years. It sounds like you were LIVING and doing it well while I was feeling sorry for myself and giving up on my health. Kudos to you!!! Thank you so much for being my inspiration today!!!!

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    2210 days ago






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    2212 days ago
    I think you are wonderful and courageous Diane! You really have an amazing attitude to life.
    Enjoy your wheelies! emoticon emoticon Woo Hoo!
    2212 days ago
    It's all in the ATTITUDE! I love that you can find the positives in life - you know the saying, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade! Bless you, dear Diane, that you must have a refrigerator FULL of lemonade!
    2215 days ago
    Always good to have another set of eyes and ears, the extra brain doesn't hurt either :)
    2217 days ago
    Diane you are AMAZING! You have overcome so many hurdles with an excellent attitude, that I am positive that with your new ones you will roll on past them. Your new chair will allow so many new opportunities that I am almost jealous of you. As a sister survivor, of physical limitations, I want you to always remember how many of us(Sparkers) are praying for and sending you blessings, daily! I have first hand experience with wheechair bowling and will, regardless, always picture your flailing in the lanes!!LOL emoticon emoticon
    2217 days ago
    You are amazing! Easily one of the strongest people I know. Keep laughing and painting and playing Diane.

    2217 days ago
    You are the World's Best Cheerleader Diane!! Hope that made sense because to me it does!! I am glad you are here for me. I know I am selfish... Hugs, Moni emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2217 days ago
  • GRANDMA1951
    You are always such an inspiration. How many people would be complaining "poor me"? Not you - you see the good in being confined to a wheelchair. So, keep up your wonderful spirit and let us know when you go "dancing".
    2217 days ago
  • BOBBYD31
    way to go diane! love your attitude, this will take you a long way to your recovery.
    2217 days ago
    Great and positive attitude leads to a great and positive LIFE! You are the best, Diane, and so happy that this hasn't got you down, but rather up, up, up! Actually, you may have more "chair mobility" now with your power chair. NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO KEEP UP WITH YOU NOW!! Special blessings coming your way, Sweetie! Love and hugs, Jeannie
    2217 days ago
    Hi Diane;

    I love it and I am always telling people to love life. I know if I live long enough I will most likely be in a chair but like to said you can dance bowl do anything you want to. It is not the end of your life. Grab hold of any changes that come and make them positive. God bless you dear always.

    Smile Joyce
    2217 days ago
    I came accross your blog and I was literally laughing and crying at the same time.. You brought tears to my eyes at how utterly unbelievable you are and the way you are dealing with what life has given you. You are an inspiration you are witty and positive in spite of everything..
    YOU ROCK!!!

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    2217 days ago
  • CANDOK1260
    diane evertime i think i am defeated i see you and it comfrot me. if you can get through your hugh problem i can get through my little bit of one.
    2218 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/24/2012 2:20:58 PM
    what problem?????
    2218 days ago
    Diane, you are such an inspiration to all of us! You might let something get you down for a short time, but you always bounce back with an even more positive attitude! You keep on spinning and riding!! I mean, come on, you did wake up this morning--so life is great! Now I will have this vision in my head of you thrashing around on the bowling lane on your belly like a beached whale!!! :-)
    2218 days ago
    Blessings to you and huge hugs.
    2218 days ago
    you can definitely still go bowling. When I worked as a teacher's aide in a special needs classroom we took the kids bowling once a week. We had one girl in a wheelchair and we would bring the chair up onto the alley and have her use the ramp to push the ball down. She had a fun and loved being able to participate with the rest of the class.
    I love your positive outlook and your motivation to the whole team.
    2218 days ago
  • MBW209
    Hope you continue to have all the fun you enjoy so much! Keep that kitten spinning...
    2218 days ago
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