A rough day

Well, I did not feel like going to work today, and when at work I did not want to go and talk to tbe customers. I just do not feel like smiling. I am hoping that it is just some depression coming from the grief of my loss. I came home and had a good cry, then had some wine.
I have connected with some of my cousins online, and they are hoping that I make it back to MN for the anniversary. It feels so good to connect with family, and know that they are glad to meet me as I am. I am hoping that they find grandma's crochet needles.

I have determined that since it seems that nobody else in my dad's family does crochet, I am going to try to continue my grandma's tradition of giving crocheted handtowels to the relatives. I am going to try to figure out the stitch she used, and then give sets to relatives when seen, get married, or any other special event. Plus, I know that mine are going to start wearing out soon, so have to have some to replace. I got plenty of yarn, and figured out how to make a hole, so not it is just doing it once I get the appropiate towels. I have a friend that is going through a rought spot, so I told him that I will have a surprise for him (even if it seems cheesy) when I see him next.

I do not know about most of you, but it seems that people express more surprise/gratitude over something that a personal touch is involved over a completely store bought item. It makes me feel so good when somebody asks me is I made something. I think the towels will be a pleasure to do. So if anybody has a good suggestion of where to find a two-sided hand towel for a fair price, I am open to suggestion so I have somewhere to start on the towels.

Yesterday I did get to the gym. I just walked on the treadmill at a 2.5 incline until my hips finally said they thought they were ready to stop. I kept the speed at 3 mph because I just wanted to go until it was enough. It was interesting that the legs were ready to quit about 5 minutes before the hips were feeling it. I hope that I will be back on track for the gym; tomorrow my gym clothes are going to work so I can go after I finish work.

I guess I am just in a slump right now. I have to continue through it, and be stronger on the other side.