Sunday, April 22, 2012
I have heard a lot on here lately about sabotage, either by close friends and family, or by those people not close but forced to socialize with, such as coworkers. Fortunately, I have the most supportive family. My husband loves healthy food, loves being active, listens to me when I ask for a date where we cook something new together instead of going to a restaurant, or go for a walk or play at the park instead of going to the movies, and will bring me flowers instead of other treats. My brother is a track athlete, and instead of making fun of my small efforts in comparison to his amazing feats (he currently holds his college record for the pentathlon and heptathlon, and is well on his way to breaking the decathlon record as well), he uses his team discount to get me better running gear than I could otherwise afford. My dad has always been willing to hang out with me while playing basketball, or going for hikes. My mother encourages me both in my exercising (we used to do yoga together when I was in high school) and in keeping with a healthy diet (we used to lovingly call her the weight watcher nazi). Outside of that, though, my extended family doesn't get it. One of my aunts always used to ask me if I was eating. If I want there to be veggies at a family gathering (that haven't been soaked in some sort of dressing) I have to bring it myself. I get funny/awed looks when I tell people how many miles I jog in a week. Sometimes people tell me I might need to slow it down, it can't be healthy to work out that much. I want to tell them, "slow it down? how much slower can it get than 5 pounds in 10 months?" My method of dealing with these attitudes is to tell them politely but firmly how I feel, but not to repeat myself. When my aunt asked me if I was eating, I offered to show her SparkPeople, my food log, and the general set up. Of course she declined, but she didn't ask me again if I was eating. For Easter this year, knowing my family, I offered to bring carrots and celery so I knew there would be vegetables. When people make snide remarks about how many miles I run, I just say that since I have ADHD and a predisposition to clinical depression, I need the miles I get in order to raise my dopamine levels and stay sane. When people make fun of my eating, whether trying to get me to eat more, or pointing out that I shouldn't eat X on a diet, I calmly explain either the health benefits of what I did eat or that no one can always be 100%. If people comment that I am skinny already and don't need to lose weight, I point out that I am only barely (and that recently) within a healthy BMI, and that I feel better when I run if I am at a lower weight, and I also mention joint pain. I have found that usually the people who are not trying to be mean listen to what I say and won't do it again. The people who are coming from a not so nice place often will continue or repeat their inanities, and subsequent times, I will usually make a joke, or change the subject, because if they aren't going to listen to me the first time, they won't listen to me ever. Mostly, I just have to get to a place mentally where if they don't get it, I am not going to let them make me feel small, wrong, or unhealthy.