Hello all :)
I've decided to keep myself accountable by writing a getting slim diary. I've called it getting slim instead of weight loss, because I'm trying to focus on what I want to be not what I don't want to have.
In the past few weeks, I've been reading a few books that deal with thoughts. The concepts they presented were fascinating for me, because I came to discover how powerful thoughts are in our lives, and how capable our brains are to create or change the world outside of us.
Not only that, it also made me realize why is it so normal and understandable that I have not been able to lose weight all this time.
Simply, I don't THINK I can do it. I can't see it.
When I observed my thoughts during this past week, I realized that food occupies a large chunk of my thinking process. I am constantly thinking of what to eat next, how I shouldn't have ate that, how I'm going to start eating better tomorrow, how fat I look in this skirt, how skinny that person is, or how I should be slim so that I can be successful. 80% of my time was spent in this thinking pattern.
When I examined all these thoughts and connected them with what I had previously read about "thoughts being what you are", it's no wonder I'm fat!
It has grown to become a safe zone for me to think about food and weight. It is safer to think about losing 50 pounds than wondering if I will ever be successful in my major. It is safer to assume that some people mistreat me because I'm fat than because I lack a great personality. It is safer to think of "starting tomorrow" than worrying about something else in the future.
Fat thoughts were a safety net for me, they kept me bubbled in this warm blanket of fat and this fat blanket made me believe and think more fat thoughts.
This week I'm aiming to change that. Every time I catch myself thinking about food or weight or comparing myself to someone else or mind-reading people, or fortune-telling the future, I will stop and say something positive to myself.
I have the cutest smile ever.
I have a wonderful family that adores me.
My hair is so smooth and long.
I am intelligent, smart, and thoughtful.
I make people laugh.
I am kind to others.
I am being healthy.
Next week I'll write down how this affected me.
I'm sure it's going to be an interesting week!
Even though I might find it weird and untrue to tell myself these things, I will continue to do so. Because thoughts determine who I am, and I ain't a fat failure!