Missed opportunity or stupid decision???

Friday, April 20, 2012

My appointment is a couple of hours. I am really hoping for the best. Pray for me to make the right decision. I am still very torn as to what I should do. Today my calf is feeling better, MUCH better but that is actually what scares me. What if I get too comfortable and think it is better than I head out to run tomorrow only to make small tear or strain into a far worse injury.

I have 2 other marathons this year and I do not know if I should rest my calf and then go out and do my best in May or if I could cancel all together, let this truly heal then focus on my September Marathon. My brain is spinning and I am seriously about to go nuts if I do not get a good workout in soon. I am going to ask today to see if I can at least bike daily...something. I need my adrenaline rush :) I miss running.......

As always, your thoughts, comments or ideas are more than needed ;) I have received so many points of view and it really does help. I was reading through several articles last night from runners with the same problem....most of which were saying to rest completely until healed. But there is something inside my heart that is pulling me towards just going for it and seeing what happens.....not always a good thing. What if I re-injure my knee which has been doing so well? What if my ITB flares up again? What if I get a stress fracture from trying to do to too many miles which I have not trained for? My brain...the smart side says that I should NOT do a race in which my feet have not covered the minimum distance which is usually 20 miles for most plans but all the way up to 26 miles for Galloway's plan. This injury happened on an 11 miler and a 12 miler....FAR from 26 miles.

Yes, I have done so many half marathons and triathlons before but that was BEFORE. This is now. I am in shape and my cardio capacity is amazing but still that may not stop my body from getting shin splints or some other running related injury from doing too many miles when not fully prepared. I was going to be prepared, there was time. Plenty of time but this happened 27 days ago and I am still struggling........yet, I have about 5 weeks until the race. If I was able to run through those 5 weeks then yes, I would be fine but how can I rest for so long and then all of the sudden get out there and do 26 miles? I do not know........

The other side of my brain says - STOP - do not over analyzes everything. Just go and see what happens. If you have to stop and limp your way through 26 miles then do so, but is that really how I want my first marathon to be? Really? On my 35th birthday limping through injured? I do not know........

I know this blog was about as scattered as can be. My mind is a mess right now and my heart is so very heavy. I just needed to write out what was on my mind.

Now I am off to do some pushups or something......this girl needs a workout :)

Thanks for listening and for always being there.....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think we all get so caught up in wanting to have these AMAZING kick ass races but really 26.2 miles is a TON even if you have to finish it walking, limping etc. It is an amazing accmoplishment. Hope all gets better for you!
    3233 days ago
    Goals are internal promises intended to bring you to points that better your life. This is really a question of what is best for you, not just now, but for the rest of your life. That means over time, in context of other activities, and your own spirit.

    You've all ready more than proved to the rest of us that you can set a goal and reach it; take risks and survive.

    Time to back away from all the other voices in your head and listen to your wise voice. This is the one that will be guiding your daughter in life. What would you be advising her if she was in your place? What would you be advising yourself if you were a 100 looking back?

    Not just as easy as thinking about body damage. I watched a TED talk where a man trained to swim in arctic waters and loss the feeling in his hands for four months due to expanding ice crystals breaking vessels to reach his goal. To me totally crazy - my hands are too important to me. For him it was worth the risks. He gained international awareness for a cause at the price of both short term and long term body damage.

    You're extremely smart and my gut level based upon reading what you wrote says that inside you already know the right answer - the problem will be settling up with all the less wise voices nagging at you. Besides push ups here is a video with some upper body ideas (I use an exercise ball to support my lower body to reduce knee/ankle stress) - trust me jogging with your hands gets cardio! Also be careful to keep your neck down and loose to reduce strain.

    Best wishes,
    you're already my hero! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3233 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/22/2012 3:38:04 PM
  • JENB_121
    Personally, I would do some runs and test it. If it hasn't healed properly then I would wait until it had and then do a marathon. You want it to be an amazing experience, you don't want to be limping through it or worrying that something nasty is going to happen! Plus, if you continue running on a dodgy leg then you run the risk of worsening the injury and lengthening the time needed to heal...thus pushing the big race out even further.

    I've learned that one of the most important parts of training is recovery and that if you don't do that properly then you're wasting your time. You're a smart girl Jen, I think something will happen - either you'll run for a week and it will be fine, or it will get angry and show you it's not ready - and the answer will be clear.

    You might know this already - cycling has great effects on running so it could be a good addition to your training. I've found that running less and cycling more has helped my run speed.

    Anyway, good luck - I'm sure you'll know what to do!

    Another Jen
    3234 days ago
    So here's the question...if you do this marathon, run the risk if injuring yourself even more, either your calf or another area because of physical compensation of the youcould have other problems in the areas you listed...also, do you want to just "do" the you want to have a personal best time..or just "crawl" through as you say. This sounds like a very important race! As it should be. Maybe you should postpone it, recover, enjoy a holiday, go anyway,don't run. Do the other races that you have planned and succeed in them, victoriously! This may be defeating, but you may seal your fate and injure your self even more by running,and that would be heartbreaking...i am sorry your faced with such a tough decision my friend. Sending prayers for a quiet mind, and healthful decision.
    3235 days ago
  • 123ELAINE456
    Thak you for sharing this with us. The key to this is listen to your doctor. He will guide you in the right direction. Follow his advice. Hopfully he is a sports doctor. If he not ask to be reffered to one. This is what I would do if it was me. I do not run. Others has posted there coments so you have a lot of support to help you through this. You are in my prayers. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week.
    3235 days ago
    I know this is a difficult time for you, but try not to stress until you have answers from your doctor. God is in control.
    Sending you lots of prayers for good results.
    3235 days ago
    I know the outcome of your visit and I am so glad you have found the cause and a treatment plan. Take good care of yourself. You are in my prayers.
    Love, peace, and understanding,
    3235 days ago
  • IONA72
    I hope you feel in a better position to make your decision after your appointment, injury sucks, I feel for you.
    3235 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4320568
    I felt ONE*BUSY*MOM had some great advise. Get the opinion from the sport orthapedic. Then pray over the situation and listen for God's answer emoticon By that time you will know that you have made the correct decision.

    Take care and be blessed!
    3235 days ago
    Jen, I want to say this in the nicest way, but honestly I think you have falsely built up the importance of not only finishing your first marathon, but finishing it on your 35th birthday. There are other marathons in other exciting locations that could mark your first, but for some reason it’s important in your mind to do it on your 35th birthday. Clearly you have something to prove, even if it’s just to yourself, and it’s killing you that your body is injured and does not have the capacity to do what you want it to do.

    Truthfully, I think you need to ask yourself exactly what you are trying to fulfill in yourself though this race. Are you trying to convince yourself that you aren't ageing? Well, sadly, we all are. Or is that despite growing older, you're still at the peak of your fitness? Well, obviously you are extremely fit. You have achieved so much.

    The fact is, there’s some need that you’re trying to fulfill if you’re willing to fly to Scotland at some expense to potentially injure yourself even more and possibly set yourself back even longer. Also, what happens if you are so hurt that you’re limping around and can’t play with or care for your little girl? Is that really worth it?

    I know this is hard, but stop and think for awhile. Hopefully the answer as to why you need this so badly will come to you. Then address that. And take care of yourself. Good luck with your decision!

    3236 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/20/2012 1:09:19 PM
    TORIAMAE has amazing advice & insight... respect.
    3236 days ago
    It's very normal to have all of those thoughts at the same time. I would share all of these thoughts with your Dr. and then make a decision based on medical outcome and your instincts. You'll know the answer when the time is right.
    3236 days ago
    you have my complete sympathy & empathy Jen. I can really feel your frustration.

    I really do believe that there will ALWAYS, ALWAYSSS be another race, and you should make your body & health priority number one & not risk further injury... at 35 you want to celebrate joy & total health, not debilitation & risk the ego feeling "defeated". I'm rooting for you, hoping you listen to your heart & safely continue on your journey, continuing to be an amazing influence to all of us in the sidelines.
    3236 days ago
    Sometimes you have to take a step back so you can take two forward.
    Boy that was corny... See a sport's orthopedic and than proceed. In the mean time keep doing push ups.

    Good luck.
    3236 days ago
    I know it's hard, but wait and see what the doctor says from the ultrasound. You don't have to make this decision before you have answers from him/her. Hopefully the results will help you make an informed decision that you can feel good about; hugs to you in the meantime!
    3236 days ago

    Wish I had answers for you. Stop and listen to your heart and brain. Ask lots of ?'s at the appointment.

    3236 days ago
    Oh honey! I feel how sad you are about this through your words. You will make the right decision.
    There is no shame in whatever you decide. Just make sure that whatever it is- you take care of yourself physically and emotionally.
    As for working out- have you tried swimming? Does that aggravate your injuries at all?
    Best of luck today! I have my fingers crossed that you get good news.
    3236 days ago
    I can hear the pain through your words. You want to run the marathon for your birthday....but the injury! I am not an expert so I won't even guess at what you should do. Listen to your doctor- I hope they are an experienced sports doctor. Whatever the decision, it will be the right one for you.
    3236 days ago
    hi jenn love,no offence but we are laymen here,we can also not see you or the injury to be a judge you should if possible go and see a sport orthapedic to answer theese questions for you maybe even give you an xray or mri to see propably what injury is there.some injuries are better when exerciseing others are made worse.i will always remember when i was 18 i broke my right foot.i went dancing on it when it wasn´t fully healed it gave way on me and i fell funny hurting my left foot in the process.i couldn´t put my weight on either the time i lived in a student house where we all had a room but shared a bathroom and toilet.i had to go up and down 3 flights of stairs to go to the toilet.i used to go down on my bottom and up on my hands and knees being careful not to knock the feet not only did it take time but was did however learn me a valuable lesson.not always to listen to myself(i thought my broken foot was all healed)get it checked out first and to have the patience to give things time to heal.hope this exercise maybe you can do some swimming.your foot would be supported with the water and you don´t nessacary have to use the injured foot leave it being supported in the water using your other foot and your arms to glide you through the water.get better soon. emoticon
    3236 days ago
  • AKA639
    Hang in there. I'm sure your Doctor will have advice. I agree with a lot of the others, rest until it's healed. Being off from your training schedule by a little could be made into a hard stop if you injure this further. You know that, it's just hard to let go of the perfect first marathon. Unfortunately, it may not be your first. But I think you'd rather have a great experience instead of a limpy one.

    I liked reading about the cycling comments too. I remember you cycling before, and if it is ok for this type of injury, it may be a good exercise to cross-train while you heal.

    ::hugs:: your heart will find the right decision. We're all here.
    3236 days ago
    Jen, just wait and see what the doctor recommends before making a decision.

    My experience through 15+ years of running is that SOMETIMES it is better to stop completely and let the injury heal and SOMETIMES it is better to keep running. It really depends on the nature of the injury.

    I can recall two times where I stopped totally - once, I had injured my achilles tendon while hiking in the White Mountains - an injury that was inevitable as I live in FLAT Florida! At any rate, I did not run for ten full days (stuck to the stationary bike) and I was fine to run a half marathon shortly thereafter. The other time, I injured my peroneal (ankle) tendon and I probably could have still run, but it was right after a full marathon, so I just took several days completely off of running.

    For everything else, I was counseled by a doctor to continue running through treatment (tendonitis in the meniscus, IT band injury). Generally, acute pain means you should STOP. For anything else, it's really up to the nature of your injury.

    I'm sure you've already been to the doc by now, so I hope that he or she has given you GREAT advice and that you are feeling better about your decision - either way!
    3236 days ago
    First, a little sympathy. This sucks. It's a hard, hard choice to make and hugely disappointing to have to change your plans.

    But you have to think from a long-term perspective on this. You are an athlete for life and that is far bigger than one race! You have to take care of yourself well enough that you can do this for a long, long time. Unfortunately, that may mean rescheduling this race.

    If you need motivational cautionary tales, look into football concussion injuries...think of all those athletes who ruined their lives (literally!) over a couple of games they weren't willing to miss. Granted, your "worst case scenario" here is not brain injury, but would you be willing to face the worst case scenario here for the sake of completing one race?

    Again, it sucks. It's so disappointing. It is a minor setback in the scale of a lifetime.

    3236 days ago
  • LAURIE5658
    Jen, I just know that whatever decision you make it will be the right one for you. Right now, you are going through that painful process of weighing options. You are getting great advice and please know that I am thinking of you.

    3236 days ago
  • NANDA82
    I know it's so much easier said than done, but I'd say rest - unless the doctor says you're good to go in a couple days. There are so many factors at steak and you've been planning for so long, but there will be more races, more birthdays, more trips. You can still make this date memorable even if you don't run this marathon.
    I hope you heal fast and fully emoticon
    3236 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/20/2012 9:09:03 AM
  • no profile photo CD4269557
    Would you consider another form of exercise besides running? What about cycling? I'm an avid cyclist for several reasons. I hate to run being the first but mainly because it takes a toll on my body very quickly. I can ride 100 miles and be tired but not sore but running a 5k has me limping around for days. I've run across of several former runners on rides and they all make the same comment that cycling is much less stressful on your body while still offering a great workout and many challenges. There are hills and distance to challenge a person and the best part is the chance to fly down a hill and regroup. :) Feel better and do what is best for you!
    3236 days ago
    Jen, what does your doctor say? I had my first real medical issue in September and am still recovering from it. Why am I still recovering???? Because I did too much too soon! I know it's difficult, and you are going to go crazy and feel guilty because you aren't doing what you want to do, but please listen to the doctors and do what they say!!!!!!
    3236 days ago
    Rest! Don't. Risk a worse injury where you would end up not being able to do the other marathons this year.
    3236 days ago
    I've had an injury that prevents me from running anymore, so I do the things I can and set goals for them. You'll be happier if you do something like that while you rest.
    3236 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8710944
    I would rest Jen and don't do the Birthday Marathon. I think you know the answer and should know that you should skip this one and take the whole time to rest, repair and rebuild. Otherwise you can end up doing such worse damage then end up where you would have to either have surgery or take the whole year off from any goals you have in mind and that would be just horrible. Being injuried is a test of strength and you my friend are very strong and are willing to do anything to get healed so put your energy into that and listen to the doctor then when your calf is ready for runs go slowly and build from there. Just be careful.
    3236 days ago
    You've been given excellent advice so far. I would wait to hear what the doctor says. You wouldn't want to risk a permanent injury.
    I hope you hear good news today, that a few more days of rest will heal it & you'll be good to go.
    3236 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2854415
    Rest. Just rest. Really. You need to take care of yourself so you can run for a long time to come. This is just a minor setback in the big scheme of things. Do you have access to an indoor pool? If so, do some aqua jogging to keep in shape. It's not the same as running through that beautiful countryside you now call home, but it's a good way to keep in running condition.
    3236 days ago
  • CAROLZ1967
    I personally think you need to listen to the doctors advice. I also agree with the runners who say total rest until healed. You sooooo badly want this race as there are so many perfect factors (location, birthday, etc) that you probably are not thinking really about what's best for you, your LONG TERM health and injury risk. What if you do go for it and like you said, make it worse, injure your knee again, etc? What if that sidelines you for weeks or months? How will you feel about the loss of exercise then? And believe me, those injuries don't always end after they heal. I always have to watch my knees. They act up so quickly. I'd love to do a marathon but due to a knee injury years ago, I'm not sure I can...most likely I could not, no matter how fit I am. It's my darn knee and I'm sure it's more prone to injury after my initial one. You really have to focus on long term here....although I know how tough that is. I really do.
    3236 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4876431
    I concur with the rest of the comments. Rest and wait. There will always be more races. If you run injured you really could make things worse. Hope all went with your appointment:)
    3236 days ago
  • BILL60
    You sure do over analyze. Ease back into it. If it hurts, stop. There will always be "what ifs".
    3236 days ago
    I would rest & wait. If you would do more damage look how long it would take you to heal. Err on the side of caution!! It is not really a missed opportunity completely ,there are other races in the future
    3236 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/20/2012 7:22:33 AM
    emoticon I don't have much advice as I've never had an injury like this. I just did my first half marathon last month. I didn't get my training done due to multiple new medical problems, the development of severe hypertension the month before, an abscess on my thigh 1.5 weeks before and I developed sciatica right after an antibiotic injection that hit the sciatic nerve. I still went, but I walked the entire 13.1 miles. It maybe wasn't the smartest idea, but I finished and even walking I was never so proud to get that medal. I realize that's totally different than what you're going through and I can't say rest or do it. I tend to believe resting to fully heal is the better option, but that's just my thoughts. Maybe wait and see what the doctor says today and go from there. I know you will reach deep down and ultimately do what's right for you. emoticon
    3236 days ago
    I hate when I am injured and cannot do something. It is hard to hear rest but what if you do the race and cause permanent damage? I know you want to bad but don't take a chance of an injury that could cause you not be able to run all together. There will be other marathons but you don't have that many legs. Keeping you in prayers
    3236 days ago
    I think you need to do what you would tell SOMEONE ELSE in this situation. You and I both know what that is. It is so easy to tell others what they should do and not apply it to ourselves because we think it doesn't apply to us when we know darn well it does. I won't say it out loud because I don't think I need to.

    3236 days ago
    I would listen to the advice you are given. I KNOW how hard it is to sign up for a race and not be able to compete. BUT... your life ~ long health is obviously far more important. Causing a more serious injury for 1 race simply isn't worth it. It really sounds like you might have to miss this upcoming race. I have a marathon on May 19 and have 2 more long runs about 20 miles each. I am nervous about them and finishing the marathon, and I feel great right now. I can't imagine having an injury and trying to finish. HEAL your body and mind and be physically ready for the next one. Keep signing up and striving for your dreams, but listen to your beautiful body. Good Luck with all your decisions. emoticon
    3236 days ago
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