80,000-99,999 SparkPoints 93,512

It's all my fault and it's killing me.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

A recent study* has found that there is a significant increase in the incidence of autism in children born to obese mothers. It may explain some of the dramatic increase in the USA of diagnoses of autism -- obesity is up. (Another part of the increase is the awareness of autism and improvements in diagnosis.) I was obese when I was pregnant with my son, who is autistic. I can't help feeling it's my fault and there's nothing I can do about it now

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oooo. This makes me SO angry!!! Very irresponsible on the "researchers'" part. I'm angry, but not surprised. A few years back there were also popular studies showing that there was a strong link between obesity and intelligence. Not only were they implying that less intelligent people were more likely to be obese, but that being overweight impaired one's intelligence. Strange how I got fatter with each degree I achieved... Whatever. Parents with children with disabilities have enough inherent guilt (its a parent thing) that this is just over the top - especially since I think it is total crap.

    Sorry - rant over. Do be kind to yourself though, and if anything, print that article out and set it on fire and be done with it. You have enough on your plate not to lose a wink of sleep over this. emoticon
    2220 days ago
    Casey it is not your fault. My nephew Connar is autistic and my SIL was about 100 pounds when she was PG.
    Guilt will not help you in this situation for there is no reason for it. You love your son, he loves you I am sure.

    God knew what he was doing when he placed such a special boy with such a wonderful mom. Remember God does not make mistakes.

    I so agree with all these positive comments.

    You were meant for each other. Now you just erase that guilt and focus on giving your son all the love you have in your heart. You are a wonderful Mom. You just remember that.

    Big ol bear hugs.
    2227 days ago
    I know everybody likes to say it but, here it is anyway. EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Do not put that kind of blame on yourself. You will never be able to know that is was anything you did. that's a pretty heavy thing to have weighing on your mind.


    2227 days ago
    I do believe that every loving mother out there will agree with me, and the other comments, about how we will always worry about what we have done, not done, done too little, or too much, that might affects our children... but we do the best we can, with love and care, for what else can we do? Should I have insisted on giving birth to my second child at home, and have avoided the blunder that happened in hospital? should I have refused the treatments they subconsequently gave her? SHould I have refused the drug they gave me during pregnancy to develop her lungs in case I had pre-eclampsia and she had to be born early, which might be a reason why she was so little when she was born on time???? Questions questions, that cannot be answered, by anyone! All we know is what we have got. the last bit of pregnanacy was tough because they worried me, the birth so easy, but they cocked all the rest up (them being the medical body), and they carried on not giving me and my daughter a chance, and I listened. Things could have been different, better probably. I have a lovely healthy girl, but if I had done things differently, insisted in sticking to my plans, my instincts, it could have beeb easier, simpler, more natural, but it also have gone worst, a lot worst.....
    Your son has a condition, what caused it? could have anything prevented it? WHo knows. What you know, is that you have your son, whom you clearly love, and I am entirely sure loves you too. Revel in the beauty of what you have, and leave fate and its consequences to her business, for there is nothing we can do about it. Please, when ever you see your son next, give him a big hug (if that is something he enjoys), and celebrate him and everything he brings to your life, adn what you bring to his!
    2227 days ago
    I agree with everyone's comments. Perhaps it was a risk factor, but maybe it wasn't. You can only keep moving forward and enjoy your son! emoticon
    2227 days ago

    This is one thing about those studies I find so annoying. Obesity is one of multiple possible risk factors. There is no direct correlation that says all obese mothers give birth to autistic children

    Maybe it had an impact. Maybe it didn't. Fault and blame are meaningless at this point. Especially since the article and study multiple times emphasize that the connection is not understood, no evidence that it is cause-effect versus both being symptoms of something else. (For example, what if it turns out that both obesity and autism were caused by a certain way of processing food?)

    The only thing you can do is be the best mother possible and follow and support studies that look into what can be done to help those already affected. Studies to figure out why won't help you no matter what answers they come up with.
    2228 days ago
    Instead of looking at the possible ways that led to your son's autism, look at the ways you are improving your life, and the lives of your children. You are someone your children look up to, and someone I'm sure they are proud to call "mom". And when you start to feel down, turn to your friends here on sparkpeople or real life, and let us help you fight the boggart!

    2228 days ago
  • GUNNSGIRL91303
    There are too many contributing factors to Autism for you to blame yourself, so DON'T!
    Think of all the positive things about yourself that make you a good mother, even just being here on SP means you care about your and your family's health. Make a list of all the things you do RIGHT and give yourself a pat on the back! Motherhood is a hard job so don't make it harder on yourself!
    2228 days ago
    I agree with the first comment! I know that you'll feel guilty as a natural reflex but you shouldnt worry. Obesity leads to alot of issues and I can guarantee that no one knows all that it affects. Your making changes now, your doing what you can.

    "god give me the courage to change the things I can, the acceptance for things I can't and the wisdom to know the difference"

    Even if you don't believe in god these are great traits to aspire to have.

    Your son will never blame you and you shouldnt either.
    2228 days ago
    There are so many factors that show a relationship between parents and their autistic children such as; genetics, mercury, age of parents, differences in brain development and even food allergies. There is no one cause. (I have an autistic niece). Also, this study is just coming out now. Even if it were 100 percent proven scientific fact, there's no way anyone could have known before. All you can do is continue to be the best mother to your son as you can. I can't tell you how to feel but If you're feeling guilty about what that article says, just remember all the good you do for your son and think about all the good you're going to do.

    emoticon emoticon
    2228 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.