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Active + emotional eating = just keep going

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Active first: I've been walking with jogging intervals 3 times a week or so, about 2 miles each time. I'm continually impressed that a) I can do this. b) I kept going even after completing the 5K goal. c) My time for my 5K was 42 minutes, a pace of 14 min / mile. While I haven't gotten close to that pace since, I also haven't been struggling to breathe while I jog :)

Swimming, I love swimming. Saturday I went for 30 mins. Kids came along, water was a little chilly. We're from Texas, so chilly to us would be balmy to Yankee folks. I remember swimming in the outdoor pool in Pittsburgh as a kid when the AIR temp was 70 degrees. I doubt the water temp was above 65. Now, I shiver in pool water at 75 degrees! Tonight should be my last indoor pool session for the season, as the outside pool should open Saturday. As my bon voyage for a few months, I celebrated by swimming a mile in 58 minutes or so. A half triathlon swim distance is 1.2 miles! I am capable of some serious athletic work!

OK, so the bike portion of the triathlon is seriously lacking. Yes, it's crossed my mind. My middle child let a friend borrow my mountain bike. The bike was subsequently stolen from the friend's apt. Oy! Conundrum: do I replace the bike with another mountain bike, much preferable to a racing style bike, or do I get what I think I really want: a beach bike, fat tires, sitting upright and all? The downside to the beach cruiser: it's unwieldy if I do want to train / complete a sprint distance triathlon. The upside: I'm all about comfort on a bike: sitting upright, fat tires for more security going over bumps and rocks. Beach cruiser has relax, enjoy, comfort written all over it. At the moment, comfort trumps and speed advantage.

Now the emotional eating. My husband and I have been separated for almost a year. He says he wants to reconcile. I've been working through a book called "getting past the affair." Today, I opened the book to the chapter "was my marriage to blame?" and then grabbed the tail end, literally, of a leftover chocolate Easter bunny. Oy again! The idea is to look at vulnerabilities in the marriage, so you'll feel more secure moving forward as a couple or as separate people looking for a new relationship. And I'm thinking: what relationship ISN'T vulnerable? With stress from parenting kids, school work, keeping the house going, getting everyone to their activities and medical appts , work, extended family, bills? Those factors aren't going away any time soon. If 28 years of giving our relationship the best I could wasn't enough to keep us together a year ago, what's different if we try to rebuild a relationship moving forward? Alas, no more chocolate Easter bunny.

Which brings on the just keep going. I'm closing in on my 11 month Spark-i-versary. I feel I've stalled in the weight loss category over the last 4 or 5 months. On the other hand, I haven't regained my progress. I've been wrestling some emotional bears, trying to sort through, blog, journal, dissect feelings about all areas of my life. I've seen some amazing athletic changes in my body, and my mindset. So step by step, swim stroke by stroke, food choice by food choice, I'll keep facing forward to a healthier me.
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