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What is Your Victim Story?

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Monday, April 16, 2012

I was watching a show the other night about a young man who lost 320 with lapband surgery. He was sure when he lost the weight he would be happy, but he wasn't. Then it was the huge amount of saggy skin. He made excuse after excuse to not have the surgery but was convinced when he did that would make him happy. It didn't. Now he was heavily scarred and still felt like "a freak". So there he was 3 years later still as miserable as when he started and still turning to food for comfort but scared to death to regain the weight. That is when he met with a life coach. She asked him why he was overweight and he blamed society, the media, mean people, his family, everyone but himself. When he was done she told him it was all crap and he had his victim story down but when was he going to acknowledge he chose to be miserable. The look on his face was utter and complete shock. Now you can't tell me you haven't felt that way when someone in your life has been saying something similar. He got angry but then he realized, she was right.
We all write our victim story and it is what keeps us miserable. This doesn't just apply to weight. It applies to unhappy relationships, jobs, life in general. We create our lives and it is our responsibility alone. Nobody else can make us happy. It is a choice. This is what I have been trying to articulate in my own life for so long. Give up my victim story and start making changes to make the life I want. The best quote was "You are the author of your life". How awesome is that? How true is that? So it might be hard but what is your victim story that allows you to stay comfortable but unhappy? You don't have to tell me but maybe just write it down. Be honest, be brutal. It might hurt but it IS SO FREEING.
The young man stopped making excuses to be unhappy. It wasn't easy for him either. He was afraid of people so he told himself they hated him anyway. It wasn't true, it was his victim story. He also moved out of his controlling and traditional parents home and for the first time in his life felt freedom. He learned to live and author his own life. I cried through so much of the show. We can too. We are only victims if we allow ourselves to be. So as the life coach said.

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