Slipped and keep slipping
Monday, April 16, 2012
A few weeks ago, I had some dental crisis where a giant piece of one of my fillings came out. I went to the dentist and they said they had to pull the tooth because there wasn't enough left to build around. It was hurting, of course, so I decided to take time off from working out. A few days later, it got worse and after toughing it out for a week, I went back to the dentist to find out that I had lost some of the protecting "stuffing" around the tooth and the bone was all inflamed. They fixed me up, gave me antibiotics, and gave me more pain killers.
So for about 2 weeks, I was in pain and I didn't work out. I also let myself eat whatever I thought I could but after I started feeling better, I kept eating whatever I wanted. I took the whole situation for granted, not exercising, and I started eating total crap. I think Doritos are my Kryptonite.
When I checked last week, I had gained 6 pounds.
I'm afraid to check again to see that I've gained more.
All last week, I kept bringing my workout gear to work and either leaving it here unused or I'd just take it home with me and keep it in my car unused. Since I started this journey over a year ago, this is the longest I've gone without working out. And each day, it seems to get harder and harder to try to get back to the gym.
I've brought my workout gear again today and I'm going to fight to get my butt to the gym after work. I really have very little motivation to go to the gym, so we'll see what it takes to get me there. My plan B is to drive home and immediately change into my workout gear to do a 3 mile walk around my neighborhood before the sun sets. So at least I've got a choice.
For reference, here are a number of the thoughts that are spinning through my head (I'm sure a bunch sound familiar):
"I've been at this for a year and I'm tired. I deserve a break."
"I've already lost 70 pounds- I deserve a break!"
"Screw society's focus on skinny people anyway!"
"Just one more day to relax..."
"I'll get back to it tomorrow."
"Another day won't hurt"
"I should be allowed to eat Doritos if I want to!"
I don't know if this helps everyone out there but after doing this pretty diligently for a year, there are times when it still isn't easy and I just want to say "screw it". And I'm learning the hard way that the longer you put off getting back into the habit, the harder it is to get back.
But I am DETERMINED to get back in the habit. The devil on my shoulder might be pretty stubborn, but so is the angel.