Sunday, April 15, 2012
You know what? I am tired of going up and down. I'm tired, tired, tired of being the biggest girl in the club or the restaurant or the office or the pool or on the beach.
But I forget this. Oh yes, I have a wonderful skill, a dangerous, insidious skill of being able to immerse myself in my own head. I don't notice what's happening around me. I don't see the people staring at me but what's worse about this sneaky skill is that I don't see myself. I stop paying attention. It's like flipping a switch and suddenly it doesn't matter if I want to eat burgers or fries or bread. I'm invisible now, it's all ok.
I may have a mental illness.
Just as suddenly however, the switch is flipped back and my eyes are opened. I'm usually caught with my hand halfway to my mouth, a burger inches away from my lips as the full force of the last week/month/year hits me and I remember why I wanted to eat healthy in the first place.
So I'm on day 1 of 'What the hell did i just do to myself?!' or WTHDIJDTM as it shall be known in future.
Aim of the day? NO sugar!