Which came first? Hoarding or depression? Does it matter? Either way the chicken still has to decide whether to cross the road.
I've been in clutter free places and I feel anxious or maybe unsettled is more the word. Certainly not serene. Then I wonder if this anxiousness warps my path toward what I thought was serenity.
They say depression is anger turned inward. Sometimes it's simply a chemical imbalance. Sometimes it comes with being exhausted physically and or emotionally. Sometimes it comes from feeling overwhelmed and trapped by what feels like a never ending circle.
Of course that all goes for me. Often it is a daily battle just to get moving. My battle is not always winnable. Sometimes I just want to escape. That is when I tend to disappear into TV, my computer, some activity, or go on an acquisition spree, similar to a food binge. I either numb out or get a temporary jolt of excitement, followed by deeper depression. (Big SIGH)
My workable solution is what Carol (pomlady1) often reminds Hoarding - More Than Simple Clutter team members - Baby Steps
and perhaps the Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
So far I haven't been very serene. I thought I had to be perfect to achieve serenity. That's where wisdom comes in - not perfection. And 'so far' does not have to be my forever.
I pray for the strength to take baby steps today, to be patient with my oopses when I am making an honest effort, and to let my tomorrows have a bit of serenity. Amen
Isn't this what Spring after Winter is all about?!
Finally - I am on
to the real