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Food and money

Friday, April 13, 2012

I wrote this as a team message board post yesterday and decided to also put it in my blog. I have been in OA for more than ten years and I have never heard anyone share about the costs of the disease of compulsive overeating:

This month is hard - I had an electrical bill, I had a mortgage on my house and a parking ticket... there is really too much month left at the end of the money. I have about 1000 sw. cr.(147 USD, 112 Euro) left until payday 25 of april and most of it will be needed for gas.

Inventing fridge, freezer and cupboard tells me that I should manage food. Frozen chicken for about 14-16 meals, frozen fish for four meals, ground meat for four meals... and frozen vegetables like broccoli, spinach and green peas.
In the cupboard is lentils, chickpeas and different kind of beans, also canned mushrooms and corn. Also stock things like flour, and pasta, rice and quinoa
In the fridge butter, eggs,cheese potatoes, carrots, onions, milk, yogurt, stock cubes and some other stuff to be used to flavour and season and outside spring is coming on, there might be nettles to pick already.

So I should manage well, daughter comes one weekend that means that I will have to buy yogurt and one soda - otherwise she loves mac&cheese and that I can do...

But - if I binge it won´t work. Bingeing means for example that I stop at the food market and buy pork that I cook with a lot of cheese on. Or that I eat two or three serving of chicken at one meal, or get crazy and fast-thaw the ground meat and make a big omelet with cheese...

I always have two sandwiches and coffee for breakfast - I think I will have tea for a while - need the coffee in store to be able to treat possible visitors (in Sweden the polite thing is to offer a cu of coffee) and coffee is expensive and wont last until payday if I have it.
My bread is almost finish, if I am to bake I have to be creative because I do not have any sour milk - but I do have yogurt that would be as good if it wasn´t flavoured with cinnamon, apple and vanilla...and I am low on wheat flour so it will have to more rye and maybe oats in it too...

Although I am nervous over my economic vulnerability right now I also think it is a little bit exciting to meet this challenge. And I would probably do very well if it was not for this disease of COE.

I can feel that it helped me to write this post, I became aware that I really have a lot of nice options here and that it should not be a problem at all to manage these twelve days without having to buy any food.... mission accepted!

That I wrote yesterday - yesterday evening I had a lot of cravings and wanted to eat - three things stopped me:
1. There is very few things to snack on in the house and if I took the last bread I knew I would have nothing for breakfast as I have not baked yet.
2. My inventory of kitchen made me aware that I do have a lot of food around although it is not what my brain screams for.
3. We had that health group yesterday and was given a food diary to register and discuss next time. I don´t want to expose a binge in that diary – I have told them that II binge eat and that I usually overeat every three days or so but still - having to write it down for discussion I don´t want and that saved me yesterday.

Yesterdays blog was about letting go and that I need to trust life to be bearable without having to control everything – and then I write a blog that is all about having control over my kitchen. Somebody commented on it that I seemed to be very organized...interesting, I live in chaos but I have a very clear view of that situation.

I woke up this morning and looking for tea that I would want I found coffee beans. So I took out my coffee grinder and have had coffee (with cardamom added, mmmm!) as usual. I might even finish of the coffee, if there are guests they will be offered tea...

Today I will bake, the butter wont last so I will have to eat my morning sandwich without butter, could be worse.

I will make a sacrifice today and spend gas on going 60 km north to visit an exhibition of painting that one of my AA friends is showing. Two unexpected reminders of bills I have forgotten was in the mail yesterday, I chose to pay them which means that there is only 600 left... have to save a hundred for my daughters bus ticket, I don´t think this will work but we will see....

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SILLYHP1953
    I cannot believe I am this far behind on reading your blogs. No wonder my life seems out of sorts...reading your blogs helps keep me grounded. It was very interesting to read about your cupboards and freezer and how you would manage with the food on hand. My cupboards are full but I seem to ignore them. I'm going to go through my food, and make my husband join me, and make up a menu plan. I love to organize so I'm looking forward to doing this when I get home. In fact, I'm going to empty my cupboards and put everything on the counter so it can be sorted and into meal plans. I have so missed your blogs and your ideas.
    2713 days ago
    Even though you are going through a hard time it sounds like you have a good plan and the will power to stick to it. Good luck, I know you can do it and you will feel stronger and more accomplished when you do.
    2793 days ago
    Stay the course! I see we have more and more in common. One of the reasons I still write down what I eat is that it does help ward off a binge. It has also made me aware of my triggers. I haven't conquered them--I just don't keep them in the house. I do still enjoy them out where there's portion control. Good cheese is one of my triggers; if it's here it "talks to me". I have found that I can keep Parmesan or cottage cheese in the house and not binge on it so that's what I might add to salads or vegetables for some extra punch. I've learned that good bread is irresistible too. Now, my grains are oatmeal in the morning and popcorn or pretzels in the evening. Triggers are strange, I look for patterns but they often don't make sense.
    banannas, grapes, watermelon, strawberries; yes-apples, no
    ice cream, yes-yogurt, no
    most cheeses, yes-but not all
    pizza, yes-see cheese
    most sweets-yes
    chips and crackers, yes-pretzels and popcorn, no
    pastas, yes- is it the wheat? Maybe, I seem to do better without it.
    home baked and good whole grain breads, yes-commercial white bread, no
    I HAVE NEVER BINGED ON VEGETABLES--unless they were in some kind of creamy casserole.
    Lessons learned. Be well.
    2793 days ago
    Wishing you the best.
    2794 days ago
    I'm sure you will make out okay with this challenge. emoticon
    2794 days ago
    It is clear you have a good handle on this and you are thinking it all through.
    Good job not over eating!
    Enjoy your time with your daughter.

    God Bless and watch over you and your economic situation,
    2794 days ago
    That's true. Everything costs, including food. Also, think of the money we spend cooking food instead of getting take out or prepackaged snacks!
    2794 days ago
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