30,000-39,999 SparkPoints 36,017

Why the funk?

Friday, April 13, 2012

Over the past few months I've had many highs. I have made progress in weight loss and exercise. I have made many new Spark Friends and have even inspired a few people. Overall everyone around me is happy and healthy. I have a great job. Nothing to really complain about.

So with this being so - why in the world am I in such a bad funk!!! To put it out there, I have been a bad, bad girl this week. I am overeating, not exercising and basically just numbing myself with food. Is this really a result of "enjoying" myself on Easter? Does a few indulgences mean I spiral out of control? Am I really still weak and unable to trust myself?

The worst part of this is that I feel awful! I am tired, unmotivated and sad. I'm trying to not be too hard on myself but really I have no one else to blame. I know better. I control what groceries are purchased and cooked. I control what I put in my mouth. I have had time to exercise.

I've been searching for the "what am I really feeding?" for two days now and have come up with nothing of any real significance. Yeah. I suppose I've been feeling a little lonely. It's been hard dealing with the fact that my ex is moving on so quickly. I guess it's not that quickly but I'm so not ready to go there. Yeah. I've been a little stressed. I've had some work deadlines to deal with. Yeah. My oldest is now registered for kindergarten and for some reason that makes me a little sad as it's a sure indicator that he's growing up too fast. But all of these things are not awful. They are not tragic. They are just a part of life.

I suppose what is most bothersome is why I'm having such a hard time dusting myself off and getting back on track. I'm not a whiner. I'm not a quitter. Yet here I feel like a person giving up and crying about it. I know of some personal friends dealing with awful issues and problems. I really am trying to put my life into perspective. And usually, it works to make me thankful and grateful.

I was sort of hoping that by typing this blog it would hit me. But so far, no such luck. I read some awesome blogs (thanks RUNNERFORLIFE08 and JEN_BACKTOBASICS) and have checked in with some of my Spark Friends. These things usually renew my spirit. But not today.

So what am I going to do?? This evening I am going to clean my car, make a meal plan for next week and a grocery list, drink water and play with my boys. Tomorrow I will eat according to the plan, exercise first thing in the morning and hope to snap out of it.

This concludes my pity party blog. Ugh!

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I have been very, very bad, I mean "off plan" for 2 weeks now. I just finished a bagel and an apple turnover and tea light and sweet. And it's only 11 a.m. Talk about a funk and numbing myself with food and feeling like crap. I'm trying so hard to snap out of my funk. i'm giving myself one last weekend and then the pity party for me will be over. sorry i wasn't here for you when you needed my support. it's just been bad on my end but i logged in today so it's a start. no matter how many times we fall back, we will get up again Steph!
    2248 days ago
    Oh my...this is soooooo me!! One day (sometimes half a day), feel like I have it under control, while other days I am sooo bad. I haven't resorted to fast food and bags of chips and candy, but I have to admit that yesterday I almost ate a whole box of Peak Freans Fruit Cremes. I soooo felt like crap after and all I could think of was....I didn't eat Cookie Monster but, I did eat his cookies!! Today I made better choices, even got in a walk....and....tomorrow is a new day...and...I am planning a healthy one :)

    Funk be gone!! :)

    2254 days ago
  • NEWMOM20121
    I am hoping you are feeling a little better today, sorry it took me so long to read your blog. This was so me last week, I am feeling more in control this week. I often wonder what causes this "funk" myself. I wish I was super wise and had some really great advice, I don't. I will say even if you are feeling funky keep coming back to the spark site, we all care about you and wish you the best.

    Oh, oh, my great words of wisdom just came to me "This too shall pass".
    How is that? Does that help? I hope so. emoticon
    YOu can do this.
    2256 days ago
    "If you don't like what you see here, get the funk out!"

    Sorry, but that's the first thing that came to mind when I read this (which, by the way, I'm sorry I didn't get to until today). It's an Extreme song from the 80's, so maybe a little before your time, and it's pretty lame, but seemed appropriate. I have been in so many funks and recently came out of a months-long one this past winter. They suck! I know you travel a lot, which can make things hard. Are you getting enough vitamin D? That can make you a bit apathetic without any apparent reason. I have low D levels, and I can really tell the difference when I get enough. (Or don't, for that matter.) I wish you luck getting out of that funk!!

    Oh, and thanks for the love in your blog. That's awesome - made my day.
    2257 days ago
  • PATIB13
    I was there last week, felt like I just wanted to give up and just eat...ok I did do some eating but not to the extent I thought I would. I felt alone and I put those feeling out there in a blog and you know what a few of my spark friends reached out and that helped. You got this...I used to be in a boot camp and we had to put a motivational quote on the wall mine was "do it so you always look better than her" (I had an ex I was running into all the time)...find your motivation and know that we all go through it. emoticon
    2259 days ago
    great blog. Hope you have a good week.
    2260 days ago
    Hey Steph, Don't beat yourself up to bad, we all have those moments I had one this week as well. The fact that we acknowledge that we have fallen is a big thing!
    You have a great plan for the evening, enjoy the boys, tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning!

    emoticon emoticon
    2261 days ago
  • WINNIE1978
    I can relate to being in a funk... Hopefully we can both get out of the funk very soon! Hang in there!
    2261 days ago
  • 123ELAINE456
    It happens to all of us. You have a good plan that will help you get back on track.You can do it. This is the WAY TO GO. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week.
    2262 days ago
    Hey Stephanie!

    Oh my gosh I could have written this blog. I have been a bad bad girl this week.

    We will get back on track!
    2262 days ago
  • ANYVAR54
    I know what you mean, this is the first that I can admit that I too have been in a funk all week. I don't like it and no one else is going to get me out of it but myself. Thanks for writing.
    2262 days ago
  • MOM23ES
    emoticon I could ask myself the exact same question. These last few weeks, I have been totally dragging my feet. Some days eating right while others I could do so much better. I do feel like I am getting the exercise, well walking at least back on track. I have lost that great feeling mojo and am still searching to get it back. I am 2 pounds from onderland and even that is not motivating me!

    Here is to the END of the funk!
    2262 days ago
  • TEDYBEAR2838
    Maybe you are having so much success you are afraid 'inside' of becoming
    someone you are not used to. IT's sometimes uncomfortable at first.

    BUT.......... emoticon

    Kinda like JUST DO IT!
    2262 days ago
    It happens to everyone....the best part is you are trying.

    I know you can do this.....don't give up. You are worth it.

    Send me emails when you feel like you need support. I can be there for you if you need help. I am sure your other spark friends will be too.
    2262 days ago
    Steph, so many times I find myself here too and you are doing the perfect thing.... you are reaching out. So always know I am here for support.

    It sounds like you have a great plan for tonight. Make a list and check off each item as you get it done. Sometimes that helps.

    Have any plans for this weekend? Maybe start looking ahead. Find some free time to take a walk or bring your kids to the park. Getting outside in the fresh air really does help.

    Hang in there and don't hesitate to message me this weekend if you need anything.
    2262 days ago
    Aww.... don't feel bad. You can get back into action, and get better: remember, never late than never! :)
    2262 days ago
    It sounds like you're having a case of the "blues". We all go thru it at some time or another...if that's any consolation. It sounds like you've made a plan for yourself to get back on track, now you just need to remind yourself that you are capable and worthwhile, and you can do this!!!!
    2262 days ago
    keep your chin up! you can do this!
    2262 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.