It Is A Good Morning
Friday, April 13, 2012
I didn't want to get out of bed, but I did and got showered, dressed, and got my son off to school. I am waiting at Target for the pharmacy. I'm eating a blueberry crisp bar and a single serving bag og nuts. I am drinking water too...three cups.
I wanted to say thank you for letting me be who I am. I know there are other people struggling in the journey to become healthier and know what its like to struggle with food. O needed to write my last blog post for me to get a grip on what the damage totaled calorically. I also needed some objectivity too. I got that and more. I got encouragement from you. So thank you.
I was scared of seeing the binger in me surface, but also I found out I feared more so a trigger inside of me bring true, that I was too fat and will always be unlovable. You might not see the connection there, but I did talk with my therapist about what happened. We were able too gain awareness for what triggered me. And, we got to the heart of what led me to binge. Now I have this awareness, I need to make plans for dealing with situations I get triggered by and so on.
Learning to be healthy is a lifelong dream. Getting to the ultimate long-term goal isn't going to be a cakewalk. I am going to find myself triggered, but I am going to learn ways to be successful in dealing with core beliefs.
My hope is I always find my strength. That I always keep moving forward. That I don't ever let one instance take away what I have worked so hard to get. And, more so, I hope to find the Spark in me never did leave and was always here.
My wish for you...to find a place of hope, a place where you see your success, and know many of your supporters have gathered around you when you thought no one noticed.