Help for the 600 pounder's Friend.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Oh Friend, I see your dilemma. I think I see it from the other side. You said…

One of my closest friends and prayer partner is lost in her physical disabilities right now, and those problems, diabetes, and bad circulation in her legs, are being worsened by her compulsive overeating, and probably binging, as well. I have tried to gently help her, offering suggestions that have worked for her before, and my support. She is "passively" rejecting my help, and squeaking through one health test after another. She's playing close to the edge, and I'm beginning to wonder if she really wants to get healthy. I know it's bringing me down. For one thing, I can't share my current success like I would want to, because my joy makes me feel like I'm bragging. Two years ago I lost a very dear friend who was over 600 pounds. His morbid obesity got him in the end, and it was so heart breaking because he was such an intelligent, kind and handsome man, but too fat to live. I suffered the same pain watching him kill himself as I am now with my other friend. He loved to travel and go on adventures, but wound up being shut in to a small studio apartment, criticizing everyone who came to help him. My dear living friend is also shutting herself into her small crowded home. She has family living with her, but it's a dreary environment, and everyone there has every kind of physical complaint, and it's all she wants to talk about. She, like my late friend, always says"we," including me in their mess. It's bringing me down, and being a sensitive person, I may have to back off (again) for a while. Watching my friends suffer from their food addictions and resulting infirmities makes me want to react by eating and overeating. I pray for her and with her, and for myself to be delivered and set free once again from this deadly obsession.

SO I WROTE a note: she said thanks for reading my blog. Please blog this information rich comment to my blog for others to appreciate…

My sister stopped socializing with me for similar reasons. There is hope. We drifted apart by this negative aspect in my life. Now we no longer live in the same side of this country. She popped in on me for a visit. She stayed just 1 hour and when my routine of conversation drifted to me and my broken record of woes, she decided that the troop of herself and 5 other visiting people she brought with her must leave now with her. So, clear across the country from one coast to here and only stay one hour. This is a visit from the efforts of 4 people getting on an airplane to fly thousands of miles; then six of them driving 3 more hours round trip from across my state. Maybe I could share some perspective from that other side.

The medical community shares some of the health facts and we tend to hear what does not frighten us. The medical community never explains the healing difference from the temporary treatments they know and prescribed. The body may be designed for self care but sometimes the kick in the pants needs to be a change in thinking. Prescriptions do not cure and they compound conditions with negative side-effects.

The repetitive nature of comfort and security are the keys to this needed change and the social norms do not explain how to shift well. Formal trust in pharmaceutical theory of medicine misses some of the nutritional factors that will assist you to promote her heart in wanting a change. To be honest most doctors do not know how for their own families.

My sister is an executive with career and big social life. I am a stay at home handicapper. She need to avoid negative environments and stay up beat has her seeing less of me these days. The system is missing the tips steps and nutritional support tools to get this necessary job done. She has to want to get help. Adrenal fatigue is big for deep moodiness. Are her doctors testing? She needs to find out the many prescriptions and all the nasty ingredients and side-effects most prevalent and explore other ways to remove the toxins of wrong choices and sustain comfort in her day to see the hope you can inspire. Because her doctors and pharmacists are not getting everything across to her comprehension, she may get together with these professionals for a review and appointments from a section of the health fields; relearn to care.

Diet foods high sweet content foods fried foods, not enough desire for laughter can pull the wrong way. There are categories within chronic illness called ‘unexplained’ weight gain. She needs to get this explained and support happy stable moods and level blood sugar through foods and supplements with much less daily spiking. The problem compounds onto itself and seems very daunting to the soul inside such a stubborn problem. All over malnutrition; Systemic Candida; low body temperatures under 98.4; food allergies; late night electronics too close to bed time; hormone imbalances of more than just insulin of; Cortisol, DHEA, thyroid, testosterone and many others will alter moods and squash any desire to seek positive change or believe one is possible. I am not a doctor just someone on the other side who has not lost my hope. Self esteem falls under this much stress. She feels like a failure; unable to feel happy longer than a moment or two.

The doctors are slowly learning that the better basics can be re-taught, rethink and supplement with mood encouragers without negative side effects in the classic MD doctor suggested products. By knowing these options are available; maybe they can enhance the slow growth toward positive self images and return her confidence to keep loving.

The doctors use Co-Q10; and GABA, a form of vitamin “B”, and 5-HTP, vitamin “B12” and many other nutritional supports. I know that I am made of these and essentials can lift moods by providing adequate contentment in brain chemistry while learning to make the winning changes and want to see them take place. Does she need formal therapy? These are under the Neuropathic theme. These different directions of information come from naturopathic care. Something the MDs in her circle of care may not realize she needs. Acupuncture, chiropractic care and massage can be part of the package to help pull the right way. Some of these physical therapies, or parts of these costs, are social security Medicare sponsored these days. It takes a friend to make a friend. Thanks for being her friend even if she does not notice often enough. It took my Doctor of Nutrition to get me this far! Maybe intervention of new resources for health and happiness information can lead to more laughter with your friend?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD8603687
    Your blog is awesome! Wish I had read so much sooner.I am glad I read today.You have hit the nail right on the head with this,You are SPot on. emoticon
    It's daunting to begin this Natural Health path,as the support from the Medical Community is not supportive as they could or should be.We have few choices if we have certain health care and limited incomes to see a Naturalpath doctor.
    You are a beautiful giving person,may this help so many who are like this who are dealing with the same issues and other issues similar.I want to thank you so much for posting this.I have learned so much in this blog,than I have learned in years,now to try your tips here.Your the best and such a sweetheart for sharing your amazing knowledge with us. emoticon emoticon emoticon Diana
    3251 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/24/2012 7:16:42 PM
  • SUE_2U
    emoticon You have such a kind and loving heart along with all the knowledge you have gleaned on nutritional requirements. I have always appreciated your wise advice.

    It is horrible to watch someone basically commit suicide due to their obsessive behaviors, be it alcohol, cigarettes, or food. No words we can give them can actually make them want to choose life over their habits, when they are in denial. I have a wonderful long term friend whose husband is struggling with lung cancer, as she struggles with COPD - but she will not stop smoking. She says she enjoys it too much. Nothing I can say will change her mind, and not even watching her husband and knowing that he should not be around her smoking, now that he has quit and has had surgery and has at least some hope of chemo and radiation helping him.

    emoticon I had to giggle about your fiber comment on my Spark page. I have been making flaxseed muffins every day for breakfast, and BOY am I full of fiber. Omega 3's, too! It's wonderful! Doesn't bother my stomach, either, which is a rare and beautiful thing when one has chronic gastritis. emoticon
    3351 days ago
    Until that person wants to lose weight there is nothing you can do but to pray for her and let her see your weight loss. Don't keep telling her but if she asks then let her know how you are losing it. Only she can decide if she wants to lose weight. Just keep praying for her that God will open her eyes to her weight and that she needs to get healthy.
    3356 days ago
    I hope a lot of people see and read your blog. Since I wrote my blog, my friend set a date to begin again, and said she is tracking her food. We will see what happens. I'm so tempted to call and check up on her, but I'm resisting the temptation. We talked this morning, she had another call, as usual, and had to cut our conversation short. When she called back I was in the middle of another call, and called her back a little later, but could only leave a message. That was hours many ago. I have to be careful. I kept myself very busy today and managed to stay on track. Interaction with my friend always sets me back somehow, I guess for the obesity/death issue. This is a subject that I am going to pursue with my counselor, however, and the story goes on.
    I'm so glad you are taking such good care of yourself. that's encouraging to me, and helps me go forward. God bless... emoticon
    3356 days ago
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