Tuesday, April 10, 2012
It's hard to start over. It's easy to let things get in the way. It's easy to make excuses. It's easy to place blame on anything and everything except the one place it belongs.
I gave up. I didn't care. I wanted to crawl in a hole and stay there. Except...I couldn't fit in the hole. So...when you can't fit in the hole...you either dig a bigger hole...or you turn around and face the music. I could have dug a bigger hole...Lord knows some people wouldn't have blamed me. I lost my daughter last year. Not very many people (that I know) know what it's like to lose a child. And, I never thought I would know that feeling. But I do. It's not pretty.
So...rather than dig a bigger hole...I am turning around and facing the world and life again. Embracing the things that I have in my life rather than letting what I have lost swallow me completely. Don't get me wrong. There's not a day that goes by that I don't cry and mourn my Emily. But I also have a wonderful husband, a great son and a beautiful granddaughter that Emily left us. I will concentrate on them and how they brighten my life.
It was hard writing this Blog. It's the first I've written in over a year. But it feels good. And it feels go0d to tell people I've turned a corner and I'm starting over. Baby steps...but steps forward none the less.