JESSICA2140

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Freedom!!

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Can I tell everyone how AMAZING I feel this week? It's not a new diet or a supplement...it's freedom!! Freedom from the GD scale!!!!

I have been driving myself insane for 4 months about the plateau...for no good reason. During this plateau, I have been steadily losing inches...which is a fine measurement of success, but I just couldn't see it that way. I have been SOOOO hung up on the stupid scale that I wasn't taking the time to ENJOY the positive NSV's I've been racking up! I'm FIT again. I can PERFORM again. I can even fit in any public seating you can throw at me!! :) I recognized these things (and TONS more) along the way, but they were always followed by a mental "but I'm still not losing"...what a waste of freaking time!! I am DONE feeling badly about myself when I'm being awesome for not being awesome enough!!

I officially hit my breaking point with the scale earlier this week. I just woke up and said "Enough". I seem to work like that...I can "know" things for months, but the acceptance of said info usually doesn't happen for a while and comes at me in a rush when it does happen. :) This "Enough" not only involves obsessing about the unmoving scale...it's also about the end of trying to be a perfect eater, reading every book/article in reach, psychotically making lists/charts/graphs to track my progress...I'm just done.

To be clear...I'm not giving up on a healthy lifestyle. I'm still monitoring what I eat and exercising plenty...I'm just done with the self competition/loathing on the subject. It's okay to eat a little junk...everything that goes into my mouth does not have to be farm raised, organic, sugar free, gluten free, dairy free, meat free, etc. That is a lesson I've learned from many of my SparkFriends...not everyone eats "perfectly" on here...but they are still experiencing success anyway! I'm just eating to live at this point. And I don't have to feel bad about it! It's not like there is a diet council out there that monitors my food tracker and gives gold stars for perfection. I'm eating to what SP says I should be eating with the about of exercise I do...and I feel GREAT! No more panic, stress, or shame...just feeding my body what it needs to perform. I'm also exercising as much as I want right now. I've been in a constant state of panic about this for months...am I doing too much, too little, right kind/wrong kind, etc. I'm just working out because I LOVE IT!! When I'm tired, I'm skipping it. When I feel like it, I'm indulging to my heart's content!

Today...I couldn't care less about the scale. If I'm still holding here (scale wise) in another 4 months...it's just going to be okay. It doesn't make me any less successful...it just means the number on the scale isn't moving. I am FINALLY accepting that my weight is JUST a measurement...one of many...and the feeling of freedom brought on by that realization is priceless!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • PNUTSMOM02
    Hoooray! So glad you've gotten over the scale and finally clued in to how well you are doing. You are amazing! Just following your blogs I know you've become fitter, healthier and wiser about taking care of yourself (as in putting yourself first now and again).

    So glad to read your post (and I love the sunshiny yellow colour of your page - it's so cheery!)

    emoticon
    2390 days ago
  • KARENDEE4
    Giving up that scale is hard to do. I think it is great how you are thinking about this. Losing inches is the best indicator of loss. Good for you!
    Also, fitting in seats is a great feeling. I know how that feels.
    2391 days ago
  • SPARKLEPIE
    100% amazing. it's about how you feel...the effort you give and knowing that your journey is much more healthy (on all levels) than in the past... your path. your time. your amazing success!! celebrate you :)
    2391 days ago
  • SWIMMING_CAT
    I see myself so much in this post! That's very eye opening! I already ditched the scale, but the "gold stars" attitude needs to go too! Thanks for the inspiration!
    2391 days ago
  • VALKYRIA-
    emoticon this has always been my favorite emoticon (throwing the scale out of the window)
    2392 days ago
  • ZANNBEE
    Sounds like you are finding freedom in so many areas! Great job!
    2392 days ago
  • JANDK156
    At least you're losing inches. I keep forgetting to do my 1st of the month measurements, so thanks for the reminder.
    2392 days ago
  • JOEYKTTN
    I love this! Because *this* is the difference between diet & lifestyle change, between killing yourself and helping yourself live. I think this is a wonderful step to continue your success! emoticon
    2392 days ago
  • SASSYRUNNERGURL
    I wish I was able to break up with my scale. I am sure I would feel better about things. But alas I am still attached but at least only visit it once a week now!

    Great job on all those inches.
    2392 days ago
  • TYANDCARSMOM
    That is AWESOME!! Love how positive & upbeat you sound. I am taking that positivity & using it!!! I need some right now.... got a little extra stress in my life & I need to keep the focus on me & my accomplishments.
    2392 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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