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Retro Exercising and Still Nursing a Damaged Derriere

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Thursday, April 05, 2012

Since the surgery I've been trying to find ways to get moving again, especially since my body is rebelling through my piriformis muscle. One of my best friends who is a professional yoga instructor calls it the "angry muscle" and I can see why. Once taunted, it just resorts to torturing me back. It's been challenging and painful but I do need to not only stretch out the "injury" but also start building back up the muscle strength.

I've been a yoga instructor for seven years now so I do know how to assist the healing process but that doesn't stop me from whimpering, grunting, and yelling out profanities while I undergo this self-inflicted physiotherapy. I also do the same, usually with tears running down my face when having the muscle poked and prodded by my massage-therapist partner. He is excellent at what he does but let's just say he "takes no prisoners". I've made the joke before, I'll make it again... what this is is a royal pain in the ass.

I am not a gym girl. I've done the gym thing many many times and still hold the same membership that i've had for years. (it was a true steal so it's hard to give up) I do use it from time to time but it never does last long. I hate workout DVD's and gave up quickly on our Wii. I am not a fan of the typical organized team sports and never got into any sort of fusion fitness classes. I just don't find it fun or enjoyable and to be perfectly honest, I'm one of those people that can't just do something because it's good for them. I'm not a Nike ad... I am definitely a low-level hedonist and if I already need to do/eat/behave in a way that's good for me, it better be at least a little fun. Or possibly a lot of fun.

I'm also a bit of a geek. (*understatement*) I love the concept of crocheting, though I can't knit to save my life. I love technology but totally am enthralled by corny, kitschy, retro & vintage "stuff". If you've ever watched Gilmore Girls you will understand completely when I say that I want Lorelei's life. I want to live in Star's Hollow and have a fuzzy alarm clock, an unstoppable metabolism and the best pop culture references spoken at endless high speed. If you're unfamiliar with Gilmore Girls, please excuse my fan-dom. If it makes you feel better, I was also a die-hard Love Boat fan growing up. I was in love with Gopher and wanted desperately to be a Charlie's Angel. Some things don't change.

I think however, that despite the television ruling our childhoods in the 70's and 80's (for those who are my age, I'm sure you understand), we were also incredibly active. I loved my hula hoop, my beautiful white boot and red wheeled roller skates which of course came after the shiny metal ones that clipped on to your sneakers, and had my early adolescent birthday parties at the Great Skate Place and local bowling alley. I was super skinny, super fit, super strong and would like that back. You can leave out the growing pains and acne though. Sheesh.

So, here I am, a few weeks away from saying goodbye to my 30's and thinking, why not? So I joined a bowling league. Seriously. It doesn't start until mid May but I've been out practicing a couple times and I LOVE it. I was absolutely awful the first time around, then watched an instructional YouTube video and became quickly much better on the next outing. My butt however howled with complaint so I may have to take it a bit easier for the time being. I'm using my downtime to indulge my kitschy geek-self. I am ordering shiny silver and white bowling shoes. It only makes sense. Who wants to pay $3. every time to wear some overly sanitized rental shoes that everyone has worn? The league that we joined has a very special deal that at the end of the 8 weeks you get your very own bowling ball for an extra few dollars. Brand new. Custom fitted to your hand. I cannot tell you how giddy that makes me; the geek in me squeals! And last but not least, a bowling ball bag. But not these ugly modern duffel bags that look like airline carryon's, oh no. A true vintage, perfect condition 1970's authentic white and baby blue bowling bag I found, and ordered, from Etsy. (Ah Etsy, it's a good thing I have no money or you would be a massive addiction.)

A few of you are shaking your heads, I'm sure. You might be thinking what a crazy girl and think that I should stick to bootcamp or Zumba classes and DVD's. But I have to tell you, being in a bowling alley is hysterical. Horrible 80's music, the smell of popcorn, soda, beer, disinfectant and smelly socks brings me right back to my 10th birthday party. The only thing missing is the cake. I can however, get far more strikes now.

And why stop there? Out comes the hula hoop but this time, it's a professionally weighted Pixie hoop made for adults. (google it and you'll see what I mean) It's HUGE and fabulous. Last week, for the first time since I was 8, I did over 100 revolutions. Until my butt gave out. I guess it's another thing to take it easy on for the time being.

I honestly considered roller derby but decided against it as I bruise very easily. One of my friends from high school started it a few years back and managed to break her tailbone on three separate occasions within one year. I want to heal my butt, not hurt it. I'm also a baby when I get hurt. I'm not exactly as rough and tumble as I'd like to believe, which I'm sure would have completely nixed me from my dream Charlie's Angel job.

I also have taken belly dancing lessons which was okay, but not as much fun as I thought it would be. I absolutely though would love to learn how to do poi. Swinging tethered weights (hopefully, one day set on fire) would be incredibly cool, or rather, would be incredibly hot.

My major exercise addiction I found right before I started SP was my reboundAir. Made popular in the 70's, it still is one of the best, healthiest and most fun forms of exercise available today. And you don't have to even leave the house which is definitely a plus in a Canadian winter. Just crank the music and bounce yourself thin. Problem is... yup, my butt. So until it heals, and I get my energy fully back from surgery, yoga seems to be the best and safest course. But let me tell you, once my rear is back to normal, I will bounce, gyrate, swing and bowl back to my ideal weight. I might be crazy, but if I can conquer cancer, I can certainly get myself fit while wearing shiny silver shoes and laughing the whole time.

The fabulous quasi-retro ensemble:

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Me, too- LOVE to sweat,
    LOVE the 'good sore'
    BUT (butt?)
    it's GOTTA be fun
    or what's the point.
    2208 days ago
  • DEBK0923
    great blog, I know what you mean I won't exercise if I don't like what I'm doing
    2208 days ago
  • CGARR442
    I have to agree with you...I won't do exercise if I don't like it, or at least continue to do it. I do love the Wii and the Xbox for my workouts but that is just something that works for me. I don't have a gym membership either and can't see myself getting one any time soon.
    My husband and I were on a bowling team for years and we both loved it. I have a bag almost just like yours, I got it when I was in junior high (too many years ago) and have never needed another one. Unfortunately, we don't live near a bowling alley now so we can't continue it. :-(
    I grew up roller skating. It was the "thing" to do on Friday and Saturday nights.
    Etsy is a great site. My daughter and I have gone on there and just oohed and ahhed over all the cool items they have.
    Best of luck to you loving all your new activities! I hope your bum feels better soon.
    2208 days ago
    As I was reading your blog, I found myself thinking "Nixy needs the roller derby." Maybe when you are fully recovered, you'll reconsider. It can be a stretch goal. I hate running, but I'm out doing 5Ks in spite of it and even tho I moan and groan, there is a part of me that likes it.
    2208 days ago
    I love ALL the ways you have chosen to exercise. I am a lot like you and never thought of any of these forms before. I like my alone time but I think a bowling team would be fun. DS belongs to a team and youknow, I might ask if I can join for the next season. It would take me out of my comfort zone, the apartment and get me some very much needed contact with others and exercise is just a bonus. Thanks for all the ideas and have a great time.

    PS- There is a hooping team here on SPark. See if you can find it.

    Gini emoticon
    2208 days ago
    Hi Michelle, I was delighted to read your blog. Although we don't mesh perfectly, I do enjoy some of the same things you do/did. My DH and I watched the original Charlie's Angels, I enjoy crocheting, love knitting and reading, have to enjoy my exercise or it goes bye-bye. I had knee surgery the end of January, and STILL am having too much pain. I go to the dr again next week, and we may have a 'come to Jesus meeting' - How am I supposed to lose weight/fat if I can't exercise!!!

    Yes, I'm waaaay older than you (my 'baby' is in her 30's already), I feel like we connect, and I appreciate that.

    I enjoy bowling, but if I break 95, I'm having a GREAT day. Hahaha I like your bowling shoes and bag, and the ball is beautiful. I'm partial to blue, with green coming in second.

    I hope you are able to soon get past your problem, and then are able to tear into those things that interest you.
    2208 days ago
    Awsome Blog!! I have that exact same bowling ball only it's a "Green Envy" colour
    2208 days ago
    Great blog.
    2208 days ago

    Sounds like a plan!
    And like you'll be having a lot of fun... which is key!

    2208 days ago

    I am old enough to be your mother, but everything you said resonates with me! I can crochet, but can't knit to save my life. I was in love with Gopher on Love Boat. Hula hoops and roller skating parties - check! (Side note, we had a hula hoop contest at the church picnic last year. I won it! It was kind of like riding a bike. You just don't forget how to do it! I need to take that up again. People on Spark who hoop are having way too much fun.)

    I have my own bowling shoes and ball - love that teal color. Is that the one you have picked out? My bowling ball is shades of earth tone swirls, from browns to glitter golds to oranges. Sadly, we part ways with the bowling bag. Mine is a high tech one on wheels. But, I LOVE your retro bag! Probably would have bought it had it been offered.

    I agree that working out has to be fun. I cringe at going to the health club, but revel in rock climbing, zip lining, and show shoeing.

    I'd say that you are crazy -- crazy about life. And that, my dear, is a good kind of crazy!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2208 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/5/2012 11:29:37 AM
    So fun! Love the bowling ensemble! Cheers you low-level hedonist you!

    I once wrote a punk song back in the early late 70s/early 80s about "Bowling Alley People". It wasn't as complimentary as it was meant to be funny. I wanted to do roller derby too - a couple of my friends are involved with the Derby Dolls back in LA, but I had a karaoke injury to my tailbone that sidelined me (Yup! You read that right - a KARAOKE injury!)

    Being a red-headed step-child (for real!), I felt kinda left out of the Charlie's Angels thing :( No redheads - boo. I read a lot of science fiction and comic books back then (talk about being a geek) and I imagined myself as a bad-a** female warrior in a skimpy outfit like Red Sonja or a female Corellian pirate a la Han Solo.
    2208 days ago
    I JUST wrote a "butt" blog ~ **GRIN** Have fun!
    2208 days ago
    I am in love with that bowling ball bag - great choice! And congrats on finding new things you love - that's awesome! :)
    2208 days ago
    Fantastic blog! Love that you are going to do what is fun for you!
    2208 days ago
    Wonderful blog! I think bowling is a great idea. I agree that some forms of exercise aren't for me either, but part of this journey is finding out what activities you love to do. You have to have fun with it! So, kudos on finding activities you enjoy! (By the way, I LOVE GILMORE GIRLS too! I was so sad when they stopped filming!)
    2208 days ago
    O.M.G. Looooove those bowling shoes!! They would be reason enough for me to join a league!!
    2208 days ago
    I love it! I bowled for years - as a kid and as a young mom too. I haven't been in years, though. I keep thinking about going back but haven't so far.

    I did love Lorelei, too.
    2208 days ago
    Loved your blog! Please keep us all posted on your bowling adventures. I haven't gone in years-loved it but am terrible at it except for Wii Bowling, that is. Does that count? ;-)

    2208 days ago
    You're not crazy-just mildly insane LOL! Loved your blog!
    To the point with a pleasant positive twist. We mildly
    insane people can say that. Take good care of that
    sceaming meanie and do the best you can. Your
    attitude is contagious. HUGS!
    2209 days ago
  • LEXIE63
    I was a massive Sabrina fan precisely because she looked 'real' to me, not barbie-esque. I loved them all, but Sabrina will always be the Charlie's Angel I want to be.
    Sounds like you are going to have a lot of fun once your butt stops being a literal pain! :-)
    2209 days ago
    On the chance of repeating myself and placing myself firmly in the "predictable" catergory...I LOVE LOVE LOVE the way you write. I'm sorry about your poor butt, and I love your new equipment, but I can't believe that nobody asked the important question : Which Charlies angel did you want to be? Everyone at my scholl wanted to be Cheryl Ladd or Jacklyn Jackson. Noone wanted to be "Sabrina" and I couldn't understand this as I thought she was beautiful in a less Barbie way, but I wasn't strong enough to admit it and say I wanted to be her sooo...I was Jacklyn Smith too! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2209 days ago
    Go you! I find bowling hilarious, I am so bad at it. I think my high score is 74. The best exercise is the one you enjoy and will do so go for it. There used to be a belly dancing studio right by my house and I regret not taking lessons while they were open. I also considered roller derby, our area had a team, but I am so accident prone I just KNOW I will get hurt.

    Have fun!
    2209 days ago
    What a greatblog to motivate others to try something new. It's only when we keep our exercise fun and interesting that we keep it up.
    I hope the pain has worn off now, OUCH!
    2209 days ago
    You go lady! You'll only continue an exercise if you enjoy it. Doesn't mean it has to be conventional or the latest fad, as long as you enjoy & have fun that's all that matters! Crocheting is great for keeping the hands and fingers nimble & blood flowing. I've yet to try to learn real knitting, though I've learned a bit of loom knitting. I love your energy, makes me want to have that energy too! The whole thyroid thing (minus the cancer) is so like some one has used a hoover & sucked all my energy out. Keep up the good work! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2209 days ago
    Great make me all maternal (my daughter is 28 and son 31). I hope your pain in the butt gets better soon and you can enjoy all your fitness plans.
    I never liked going to gyms I am a bit of a solo exerciser so dvd's and home exercise suits me, I only recently discovered the Hula hoop age 52 and love it. I can just see you as one of Charlie's angels, you are doing great may the force be with you.
    Anne :)
    2209 days ago
    emoticon .
    Just loved your blog !!
    I go back to the 60,s and I loved bowling ! I am also a sorta geek .. I didn't get into much trouble I always had my nose in a book or was at the cinema or a live show .. but I did love ice skating too.
    Hope you butt heals soon ... Hugs and thanks for the memories ..
    Susie emoticon
    2209 days ago
  • UNICORN212
    Really, the hula hoop is great for your waist and core. Where did you find yours? I need a "real" one - not a kids one from Walmart!
    2209 days ago
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