Tuesday, April 03, 2012

To start this blog on a positive note... I have continued to work out regularly with my girlfriend. We set our time and place the day before..if we have plans or kids activities thats okay but any night we are free we meet up. Some nights the workouts are harder than others but atleast we are moving. We are at different fitness levels so but have been able to work together at finding things where we can set our own pace or determine how hard we work on our own. We hate to cancel cause we know the other is depending on us so it's helped both of us to work out even when we don't want to. :)

On another note...I'm not doing good with my eating. Once again I can't seem to get myself to care about my eating or about taking my meds or about the fact that my weight is going up. Last appointment with my therapist we discussed my food problem. She believes I am addicted to food (and yea she's probably right) and is encouraging me to follow the first couple steps of any addiction program which is to admit I am addicted and to let go of my problem/struggles to a higher power (in my case God)...I am struggling with this. I'm struggling with turning over control and believing that He actually cares about every single thing I put in my mouth. She's suggested that I tell my to just try it for 3 months and give it my all for 3 months and if at the end of that I am doing no better than we'll address it. For some reason I'm still struggling. I just haven't been able to take that leap. I have another appointment with her Thursday.

Tonite while water walking with a very good friend we had a long talk about faith and struggles and I do feel encouraged after that talk.

I am also encouraged by the fact that I'm still visiting sparkpeople and wearing my I haven't given up.

I'm also dealing with family issues too. My sil is very trying and emotionally draining and while my therapist has been very helpful with teaching me how to deal with issues it's still draining b/c of the drama (which I hate!) and having to watch every word I saw and every action and every facial expression...ugg!!

I'm not ready for summer to be here. It was 90 degrees the last few days here and I felt like someone had dumped a 100lb blanket on my shoulders. I had no energy, was cranky, tired and just out of sorts. I'm that way every summer..even when in the a/c. Really live in the wrong state to not like heat!! haha

Told hubby that after son graduates we're moving to Alaska!! haha He's not real worried about it as he knows I won't want to move that far from my son..but I'm encouraging my son to think "cool" when he thinks about where he wants to go to college, and to live and work after college graduation. haha Of course knowing my independent child he will chose someplace hot just to make sure I don't follow him there!! lol

No matter how whiny this post sounds I want to end it by saying I am truly blessed..I have a full time job with benefits, loving husband, son I love more than life itself, loving family and friends, and am basically healthy as are my family and am getting to know some awesome women on this site!!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Just a thought based on what you and your therapist are discussing; You might enjoy reading Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst.
    She might be able to help you with understanding the relationship you feel you are having with food and how to turn it over to your higher power.
    Of course she doesn't have all the answers for each of us, but it might be a very helpful tool.

    Good luck,
    2570 days ago
    I have been struggling also lately, and blogged about what my adviser suggested...part of it was not expecting perfection...(if you look at my blog you'll understand with the beach ball metaphor) You really ARE tackling this one thing at a time, and you have to be patient with the process...know that small changes are the way you must approach this...and the fact your exercising regularly and beginning to look at the other issues is a wonderful beginning. Keep being patient with yourself, you're on the right path.
    2570 days ago
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