you can hurt me but it will only make me stronger.
Tuesday, April 03, 2012
Today i signed onto my facebook and saw an EX from well over 6 years ago decided to post a picture of 'nut gobbler" from south park and write " i once dated a girl that looked like this her name is Jen" it was a character that was very overweight and in a tight nurse outfit. Needless to say It hurt because we were together when i was at my thinnest. He even said goodbye to me when he went off to college 3 years ago. I have been married and had kids since then even moved out of the state. I haven't mentioned his name since i saw him 3 years ago. He attacked me for no reason today. I cried for about 20 minutes because it just brought me back to being 5 years old and getting picked out and running home because i just did not want to go to school anymore. I talked to a few friends and posted about it on sparkpeople and the warm responses i received made me feel a whole lot better. I am on day 4 of my journey and this just has made me stronger. It makes me want to prove everyone wrong who has only saw the 'fat' not the kind hearted girl behind the fat. So i put it on facebook for all to see. Below is my status after this has happened and i was surprised by the love I got from people I have not seen since high school. I stood up for me for the first time ever when someone called me out on my weight. I just do not understand why people think it is okay to put someone down about this. You wouldn't see someone talking about anyone's race or religion this way. I have struggled all my life with my weight. Countless times i have tried to lose weight and have failed but this time I will not. I can not.
that is the picture for all of facebook to see on his page a long with many commenting and making fun of me. I am stronger than this to let this get me down. Instead of eating I have been exercising and playing with my kids. I will teach my kids better.
so I am obese. I have never deny this I do not walk around in slutty clothes as if I am a size 4. I have been battling being overweight for all of my 24 years of life. I was made fun of from the time I had gotten into school to the time I graduated high school. I have been called pig, fat, jupiter, and almost every other name in the book. I used to run home crying when I was a kid because I was once was really nice to everyone. I turned into a b**** because it got beat into my head that my outside was all people would ever see. At my lightest i was 165 pounds when I was 18 years old that was because I was working 2 jobs going to high school and taking care of a 2 year old and literally was on my feet for 12 hours at a time. I now weight well over that and I am working on it. I am finally in the complete mindset to finally win this battle. I was 315 pounds at one point in my life and finally started to lose the weight until I broke my foot. I can lose the weight and when I do it was for me. Not the person giving me dirty looks or that so called friend snickering because I can only shop at plus size stores. I am who I am. Make fun of me post pictures on facebook call me a whale. I can lose the weight but people like that can never lose their ugly personality. Real talk. from a real FAT b****"