Sunday, April 01, 2012
Next weekend is the Hollywood Half. Even though I was planning on doing the 10k I ended up not training at all so instead of punking out completely I signed up for the 5k. It's a good reason to head out to the West Coast and see some friends too. Plus, three miles I can do easily.
So I've renewed my motivation to getting to a healthy weight and that's great n all... I don't think I am the only one to ever get to a healthy weight and then claim that I WILL NEVER GAIN THAT WEIGHT BACK, and then, two years later, find that 20 lbs (or whatever number- that's mine) has crept back on (or not, I noticed but ignored). I am now just 10 lbs less than I was at my heaviest weight, and about forty pounds more than my lightest weight. It's annoying. I get mad at my body for not being different and of course, like many others, feel that all is hopeless. I know. That's a total crock. An excuse to not pay attention or do better.
I'm glad I didn't gain it ALL back. I definitely have done worse. I know it has a lot to do with exercising less (sometimes not at all) and haphazard eating habits. I may have thrown caution to the wind, but I know better than to think I am not completely responsible for myself or the last 2 years worth of ignoring some seriously important things. Yes, my life circumstances had changed but it was my job to change along with those circumstances so I could continue being a continuously improving and evolving Me.
I'd like to say Lesson learned, but really only time will tell if that is true. I've felt this way before (and before that and before that).
So, erm, hi again. : )