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Confessions And Moving Forward

Sunday, April 01, 2012

I know that I owe everybody who's been following my marathon training an update blog, but I need to write this out first (so stay tuned, if not later today, an update will be posted tomorrow).

I've been in free-fall.

It's only to be expected really, I mean I left my job last week and immediately went on a road-trip. Just the travel and schedule changes would lead to a bit of free-fall for anybody. Unfortunately, the free-fall started a little early in my case, as the last two nights of work involved copious amounts of food provided by co-workers that I couldn't - and really didn't want to - refuse. Monday night we'd planned a little potluck, and though I brought in a veggie tray I intentionally indulged in BBQ and had some chips and one of the Panera bagels (cinnamon crunch, SO yummy) that one of my newer co-workers had brought for me 'cause he "owed" me (for taking a call for him he wasn't ready to deal with). The following day our supervisor gave my co-worker (she who was forever feeding us) money to pick up food for a HUGE spread and a cake for me, which was ridiculously thoughtful. Seriously.

Co-workers attacking the spread, and Mom (aka she who was forever feeding us). :)

I did NOT make the greatest of choices on the trip, either. From the philly cheesesteak potato that was the size of my head at McAlister's in Knoxville to the muffins I bought on the road to satisfy a "sweet jones" (at least I limited myself to one per day, but I ate all 4 before we came home) to dessert at the Marietta Diner (I didn't show you the picture of the huge custard-filled eclaire that *I* got, which I'm at least proud I only ate half and brought the rest home, but still...since we're confessing here, I'll show you).

Note - this is NOT a "beating myself up" blog (I made intentional decisions all the way around), this is just taking an honest look at the last 10 days in order to get a handle on what I've been letting slide.

And slide they definitely have. I've avoided the scale all week, trying to give my body a chance to "settle itself back out" after all the vacation indulgences, hoping that by Sunday (today) things would be back to a manageable level.

Today's weight: 189.5 lbs


NOT back in the 190s you'll notice, but far too close to make me happy about it.

SO, as of today things have to change. And I pretty much know what I need to work on. See, even with my weekends being 3-4 days per week, I've spent the last few months (okay, the last year really) relying on the structure of work days to get me back on track (as I've tended to be less careful about things on my weekends). I don't have that to fall back on anymore, which I hadn't realized has been such a huge crutch until now.

Now? Time to get serious. No more crutches, no more "structure to fall back on" - I need to make a serious plan and stick to it.

Areas that need attention:

* Getting in all my water
* Getting in at least 5 servings of freggies every day
* Making healthy meals EVERY day (since I don't have my easy-peasy-to-track frozen meals to fall back on)
* Neurotic tracking (okay, maybe not neurotic exactly, but tracking even the stuff I've generally been skipping like my flavored coffee creamer, to get a handle on exactly how many calories I'm really consuming in a given week)
* Fitness goals besides the marathon, so I don't end up in free-fall after The Pig

In the spirit of the Spark Diet, I'm going to break this down into weekly goals - only 3 per week - so I don't try to change too much too fast (a pitfall we're all well familiar with - when you try to change too many things at once you set yourself up for burn out and feeling like a failure).

SO, goals for this week (April 1 - Saturday April 7)

* Drink at least 64 oz of water every day (which means keeping my big water bottle by the computer and remembering to DRINK what's in it)

* Track EVERY SINGLE MORSEL that passes my lips, EVERY day.

* Consume at least 5 servings of freggies per day

That should do for a very good start towards getting things back under control. Weigh in day for the foreseeable future will be Sundays.
Let's do this!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    "I don't like my job and I don't think I'm gonna go any more" "so you're going to quit?" "Nope I'm just not gonna go any more" I have done that before, but it was a job I hated that had me in the early stages of nervous breakdown. I have been off the wagon for something like two months now, and I'm trying to get back on track myself. Good to see you are breaking it down into small goals. When I fall off the wagon that is the hardest part for me, realizing I have to start tackling things in chunks again. Usually I just get frustrated I can't keep up with doing ALL of the things I was doing before, and I stay on the ground while the wagon I fell off gets farther away. I am one of the many people eager to hear about the marathon.
    2538 days ago
  • 4CYNDI
    I really like the tone of this blog. You are being honest and forthright about your conscious choices. You have also considered why and what you need to do about it. I love the simple goals and the plan of working on 3 a week. This is such a positive uplifting blog because although you weren't perfect, you owned what you did and are now ready to move forward into a healthy future.

    2538 days ago
    Great plan!
    2539 days ago
    Good for you! I love that you didn't "beat yourself up" because I've realized that doing that is almost giving myself an excuse to throw all my efforts down the toilet and just stuff my face. AND you also made short-term, measurable goals instead of overwhelming yourself. Guess what? YOU WIN!!!! emoticon
    2540 days ago
    Great baby steps goals and a great overall plan.
    2540 days ago
    Sounds like a good plan.

    I know that every time my schedule changes--and it does a lot because, well, it's in a constant state of flux--I always end up flailing around a little bit until I figure out how to make it work for me... and then (heh) it usually changes on me again. Maybe that's part of why the concept of baby steps appeals so much to me, because when things change baby steps are manageable where as the big picture is daunting and I don't know *where* to start.

    I'm glad though that you aren't beating yourself up. It's okay to sometimes indulge yourself--the important thing is to then refocus and you're doing that. (And I totally would have indulged in your shoes!) Having a plan is definitely a step in the right direction, and your plan is a good one!
    2541 days ago
    At least you have the job change and travelling to point to a reason. I feel like I'm where you are... only without the logical excuse. ie: on Friday I hit kroger for lunch (as planned, since I was there buying lottery tickets for the office) and choose ok -- but then grabbed a chai at Starbucks... AND had a chai after my counseling session. Yep... icky choice. So... mind if I join you in your goals for the week? I can relate to everything you said and the goals you mentioned SHOULD be what I'm working on anyway.
    2541 days ago
    Ah, yes, the joys of freedom...and the pitfalls. I love your honesty here, and the refusal to beat yourself up over your choices. No point, really. It's done and over with, so just move on and do better from now on. This is a very realistic and doable plan-nothing that's too time-consuming or difficult, and I love the idea of breaking up your goals into *chunks* that you can work on every week. Might just have to steal this idea for the imminent end of BLC, when I will (no doubt) go into free-fall, if I'm not already...

    2541 days ago
    Glad you're not beating yourself up over it: you're taking what you've learned through your journey and creating a new normal to work within. Definittely a sign that you are doing the right thing.

    Good luck!
    2541 days ago
    Ah you know what you doing! Fantastic.
    2541 days ago
    Sounds like a reasoned, well thought out approach. Should work out.
    2541 days ago
  • MISSG180
    The food tracking is probably the most vital thing for me. There are times I don't eat stuff just because I don't want to write it down!
    2541 days ago
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