Friday, March 30, 2012
I've started seeing a therapist. She's not your typical therapist. She focuses on mind, body and soul. This is the type of therapist i've been looking for, for a long time. I need to talk about today's visit. This is how it went
This morning I got a call from my therapist that she had two cancellations. So I took the 10 am one. got the girls moving and out the door in 20 mins. It was a good session we meditated, then she had me put my issues in a box and I pulled one back out (all meditating) So the one that came out was letting go. Since my brother passed away I have had issues with letting go, letting go of anything. Could be friendships, family, issues etc. I think you get the idea. This emotion affect my stomach area as a tight knot. I’m not allowed to think, only feel in sessions. Thinking yea helps us but feeling is what lets us forgive and move on. My emotions are disconnected from my body. Over the years I found it easier to disconnect then have feelings. Since mine never mattered anyways.
I also told her about my bat dream and where the bat bit me and what happened after. She was like that was interesting and that the neck area is part of the throat chakra and having a voice. I love that i can be myself around her, i don't have to hid any aspect of myself. So even my intuitive part that most people freak out and say is the devil. Here is my voice speaking up about that. I respect others for their believes, please respect mine and keep your comments to yourself. This is me and i'm going to be whole for once.
We also did art therapy with the meditation too. I let my guides guide me cause I really needed support during that part.
So after therapy I needed comfort food and I wanted popeyes. You guys know I don’t eat fast food often but I wanted greasy chicken. I took it to go cause I had to get home for a sparkpeople live meeting and when I got home and it wasn’t there. I broke down. literally broke down crying. I needed that chicken. I was ok that I was comforting my emotions with food, because after the session I needed it. Even after the last one I got a pepsi, but I only needed it after the session the rest of the week I ate fine. I need to talk to her about other ways to deal with these raw emotions after a session. I know I need to feel them and I know we are addressing them but wow going within is not easy, but I know it’s a must on my journey.