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Making way for newness

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Turned out that the March 27 court date was still valid--but now it was to finalize the divorce. Oh, what a HUGE BLESSING it is to have this done at last!

When my lawyer asked me, before the judge, whether I considered the settlement "fair & reasonable," I paused. Simple agreement would have been false. Then it came to me: "It's adequate," I said. Sometimes adequate is the best we can get from a flawed system & a very flawed ex. And so I'll take it.

I want to thank so many of you who have commented or messaged me with words of caring. You have blessed me so abundantly. emoticon It is wonderful not to be alone.

Today I talked with my therapist about how to use the new emotional space that has opened up in my life, now that I don't have to think about the divorce process anymore. For example, I've been nominated for elder at my church. A ton of nominations came in, so even if I said I was open to being elected it might not happen. And quite recently I was feeling rather disappointed in the church & not sure I wanted to stay there. But I've been encouraged by some recent developments, & being an elder would be an opportunity for me to help shape the church's responses to marriage crises among members in the future. This is an urgent issue, as a good friend is facing divorce from a former member right now. There are other ways I'm interested in leading/serving too. So I'm mulling that over.

There are other realms of newness, but I want to focus here on SP stuff. In regard to fitness & weight loss, I want my newness to be expressed as new commitment:
* actually starting my bedtime routine at 10:00 each evening, Sunday through Thursday
* getting up each morning in time to exercise
* reinstituting a regular cardio/ST pattern
* continuing to eat good food, but LESS of it!

I've started today by eating three good meals + one little piece of Colombian chocolate. Supper was my smallest meal; though I was tempted to add a couple more foods to it, I didn't succumb.

Off with those divorce pounds!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You sound lighter already! YAY!
    2204 days ago
    I'm so happy for you - to be able to move past the divorce is a huge blessing. Have a joyful week!

    2215 days ago
    Yay! So glad for your new beginning! Those divorce pounds will melt away now that you've got that weight off your shoulders!
    2217 days ago
    Thank goodness that you are no longer a hostage to your ex. It is nice that you were able to take a walk through the park after court. emoticon
    2218 days ago
    I'm glad everything is working out well! Sorry to hear that the divorce was neccesary, but I'm happy that its over for you. That has to be a huge weight off your back!
    Your goals sound very reasonable! emoticon
    Can't wait to see the progress you make!
    emoticon emoticon
    2218 days ago
    emoticon emoticon

    You are emoticon !

    Thanks for sharing your journey through this tough time. It is encouraging to see it through to a reasonable outcome

    and new doors are open for you! emoticon
    2218 days ago
    Glad to read your blog! You're doing great. I love your goals.

    "Adequate" is the right word!

    That would be great to help shape the direction of the church and also counsel others.

    2218 days ago
    I would so take you out to celebrate, too! You are so clever and so good with words. I think accuracy and honesty in expressing oneself is so important and admirable! Much love to you!
    2218 days ago
    Congratulations dear Ruthie and it's Spring!
    2219 days ago
    If I were there, I would take you out to celebrate! I am so relieved that the divorce is finalized and you can move on to other things. I am sure that you feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders. I am so happy for you! Congrats also on sticking to your food plan for the day. You are definitely a woman on a mission!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2219 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/28/2012 9:51:56 PM
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